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TEDx Talks
Published: 2017-09-06
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myy7kVEwUXY
are sh okay so I thought we'd start with a quick view of the history of sex in one side and this is it boy meets girl girl meets boy something's gonna happen on the other bit about the whole history of six when I really want to be talking about the recent history of science the whole thing about the whole history of six is a fundamentally men
want to one's and women want to be one and that is the basis of our biology of course sometimes men what we wanted women in one to one but fundamentally the difference between us which is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history under law biology is that men are the ones who do the pushing but women have the power women in the end have the capacity to
say yes well no which is very scary than men well we know we're under good thing when the economist has six on its front page it doesn't do this very often on his title page well but they were really talking about reproduction well another very ancient magazine in a London published out of London called spectator it's been in continuous publication for more than two hundred and
fifty years and it had this lovely bottom title long very recently which says yeah men why men should watch girls bills is a television program but it's interesting that both these publications are talking in some ways about things sexual in order to improve circulation now the fascinating thing is that it is circulation which create sex I don't come on to that nature but here we are
typically %HESITATION bowing to go man and a woman the getting together well if you think about it in the process %HESITATION giving her body to a man letting a man penetrate a woman puts her life at risk it's not amazing though she might become pregnant under until recently across the whole of the world and very recently in the developed world the possibility of death has been
reduced somewhat quite considerably but it still exists and even if there is no death rigorous the creating of life and there is a pregnancy that comes happily to turn the woman changes her line in all kinds of ways in the act of making love it's not true twenty seconds if they're lucky but in nineteen sixty one we have this remarkable well availability for the first time
ever in the history the world of the contraceptive pill now contro the beginnings of life for the first time ever and you hear all the inheritance of that experience it is remarkable that we can actually begin to think about our bodies was potentially sources of Russia known justice reproductive processes because if we look at the history of understanding about six we can say that for hundreds
and hundreds of years before nineteen thirty five hundreds and hundreds of years the general view about sex with that it was very she knows the primary tells good men and women as a whole the %HESITATION animals mammals and others in the human kingdom in the in the eighties Ozer logical can so that was a reproductive you know sex and then Hollywood by about nineteen thirty five
had begun to convey through film that something else seem to how who's a thing called remission we began to get a relational view of six because Hollywood at that time couldn't show anything sexual well there was an idea that if the people wandered off into the sunset something was gonna happen so there's a relational six but then in nineteen sixty one we got the pill the
contraceptive pill across the developed world begins to make it possible first to think about sexual function much more in terms of recreation so we got a reproductive than the short lived Recreo relational views on then a recreational and we know the generation that is struggling with the implications that it is opening up the conversation about well placed a sex have in our lives and it's opened
up the conversation about the possibility is so homosexuality gay relationships trans gender relationships things not to my parents' generation with green inconceivable what could have been topics of conversation the topic of sex was widened out very considerably but the real change happens in recent time when we found out how it worked in nineteen sixty seven just fifteen years ago half a century a couple in the
state school mustn't Johnson use this remarkable book called human sexual response and for the first time in the borough tree who'd been a systematic enquiries into how does the body work section medicine didn't know %HESITATION medicine was good on reproduction but anything to do with sex from its most hello off cool that was a good private you were not interested in what happened then you really
should sing when the was conception I'm so mad soon physiology in general had very little actual working knowledge when I was young clinical psychologist in nineteen sixty one before this book was published working in outpatient clinics dealing with sexual problems realizing that we were in front or we have to go on this clinicians well Laurin private experience actually isn't much to go on professional so that
we were do your best people coming with sexual problems and then losses in Johnson published and began to tell us how the body works well this is where circulation comes back in because the most important thing is that we would begin to be interested when somebody section blood starts pumping around the body now it's very obvious what happens and the men here is a man he's
got this all hanging out sexual apparatus it's a bit like a hamburger still with neon lights on it you can just see it as a distance but if he gets sexually interested blood begins to flow it flows into the soft tissues of the penis here's another %HESITATION diagram it flows into the soft tissues of the penis here and in a hydraulic fashion the pain this will
lift I'm become erect if it's working properly will sometimes is not only going to come on the problems of that nature but it's a simple process in which the man is effectively a delivery system for the sperm which I being manufactured here sent up through this too still a bit here owner delivered out through here listen to build muscles which control herb whether he's going to
ejaculate or whether he's going to pee but that we are all the system is extraordinarily well designed and manages up quite well but it's the same as the same shoot down which everything comes well it's not so clear Newman so true so but we can't actually see very much well if a man is like a hamburger stole woman's sexual apparatus is a bit like well this
extraordinary %HESITATION exciting interesting but slightly scary small alleyways that one sees in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City you know quite sure whether you want to go in there you know show what's at the end of it when you get I'm called to the dilemma for them to that that women of their full left teaching men how it works but what mustn't Johnson discovered was that
busways women don't really know much about how it works any about a third of women in lots of services have ever reliably look that they're an external genitalia I'm venue intimate many women are troubled that maybe their genital areas have become like other people's most women do not see another adult woman's genitalia whereas men often see elements in its head in a post got very concerned
about some honeys you leave to woman to find that the limb size has almost no relation to the Iraq side but they don't really believe that out they always think it is anyway the problem for women well I'm for men is how do we find out because if we look at this in a simple anatomical diagrams %HESITATION we see that there's a fleshy area of the
lips here little vaginal canal here %HESITATION but this extraordinary organ called the clitoris now you may all know that we are conceived all of us female for the first six or seven weeks of life we are all female and then if the heavens me why chromosome that's been ejaculated in the hundred million sperm to know why Jack elation about teaspoonful as a hundred million sperm and
another one of them is gonna put Eliza neck if there's a negligent because last but like the whole population of Vietnam standing on the end of quick him today diving in at the same time I'm the one that wins gets to the far shore does that surprise unless of course three or four happen to get there the same time and you get quotes but that's a
different sue how how we going to find them well well there is a lot of knowledge around now because of muscles known since research work they had subjects lying in the Liberace %HESITATION masturbating to climax making love they were taking the best electric was illogical measures that were available in the time on the very clever things they did was to create a small camera device and
a plastic shoe which inserted into the vagina showed for the first time well new recreation boss lubrication in a woman beginning to get where it is exactly the same in terms of sexual arousal was the beginnings of a stiffening in the man the man beginning to feel the beginnings of an erection increments as the woman and is is other lubrication and the reason for both of
them his blood pumping round the body so sexual interest begins to create popular and in the manic pace the hydraulic reaction described in the woman's it creates what's called the trends you terrific reaction it's a kind of sweating reaction across the wheels of the vagina as the tissue around the vagina fills with the flooding love disconnected the sexual excitement a number of other things happen the
woman's the the wound itself here the oaks begins to live the vaginal canal itself begins to increase in with these lips here become filled with blood and open up and the clitoris becomes very sensitive now the treacherous it anatomically starts well if we will start this female the clitoris in the woman the embryo becomes the penis in the mountains the men's sexual excitement is entirely focused
in the head of the penis that's extremely sensible well the man wants is something warm soft and preferably wet but he can push against that's what a man is on a woman is much more diffuse in her sexual acts %HESITATION responsiveness on the dynamic for a man in a sexual relationship with a woman wanting to arouse who want to please someone know how to make love
to her is the two finger touch the sexual organs lips around the vagina the conscious itself are very difficult to distinguish what's happening the man has no real signals not the woman's not quite sure what should be happening eventually with effective penetration or effective thing the stimulation herb reaction stop happening in the little pond vagina which are not opposing orgasm and the man that sejak today
she well but it is a remarkable process someone that perhaps the only way that we can find out about it is that we all from below a as well did when we were teenagers or young adults it may be extraordinarily difficult teach six probably even though it was a great cry in the west but teaching it properly and even though this quite rightly huge concern about
sexual aberrations and versions like me to failure actually teaching what is ordinary normal sex is such a private experience but it's very difficult to know quite how could be done we can teach the knowledge but the experience we better teaching teenagers to drive because the way our opponents since we have to find a way but the dye number is that we main aunts find out very
much we may not become skill sh one of the things that mustn't Jones and tortoise was that actually good sexual relationship depend upon good skills knowing how the body works being able to enjoy it feeling relaxed with it feeling its missiles I'm not feeling I the frightening %HESITATION listen in balance in the relationship because one of the extraordinary things is a woman does not have to
be sexually interested in any way a toll for a man to cheat penetration and so have a climax the man has to have a climax it wouldn't be reproductive woman does not well one of the things that we discover mustn't Johnson isn't sex tends to happen between two people for clinicians out with a remarkable discovery Nicole's clinically somebody came with the clinical problems we would see
that individual with the problem Wilson Johnson Hey it's actually a relationship let's hear on sexual activity is part of the expression the sexual relationship and it is not much fun %HESITATION woman who's been married ten years maybe in a job maybe Todd there are two or three children a man goes out drinking on a Friday night comes home doesn't work very well at Columbia on his
breath wants a quick phone that is not much fun for woman Maseno teaching us and why should it be why should it be so the skill for a man is to learn how to please a woman but the skill for woman this to find out how she wants to be please but if they can please each other loser giving process and would you get an enormous
amount so the giving to get was another principle that mustn't Johnson torches and Sir is blood pumping around the body under a full stages of the sexual arousal process we can have desire we can have %HESITATION arousal we can then have orgasm and then we can have release and we can have disorders of those two so here's a couple and the fact is that sex is
perfectly natural but is not always naturally perfect and so we get disorders which mustn't Johnson talked about in there a second book called human sexual inadequacy men don't get erections property direction goes away love the woman come get an organism nylon the terribly interested ones over sex one is on the six there's kinds of problems but it lost we have a method %HESITATION approaching this problem
sometimes medication but rarely with medication most it's about the nature skill I want to leave you with the so that what good sex is about is enjoying each other we have all the equipment that we need in order to do that we may not lead to use it as well as we could it takes time but it's fun thank you
