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TEDx Talks
Published: 2017-09-12
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMubnUO-Kwk
is there something you want to change any kind of change big or small borrow money less weight a new job less that to have different results you must change your actions but before you can change your actions you must first change the way you think and feel we are given knowledge and information on what to think however we are never taught how to feel our feelings
I've been through four years of college okay five I was finding myself four years of medical school and three years of residency there is a lot of knowledge in here most of it useless with all of this knowledge I could give you loads of information on what to eat when to eat how much to eat what type of exercise to do when to exercise how much
to exercise hormones in the body and many other things related to weight loss and weight gain however all of that knowledge has not kept me from getting fat according to the national institutes of health two thirds of Americans are overweight or obese are the rest of you thinking this has nothing to do with me but ask yourself do you watch too much TV do drink too
much alcohol you spend too much time on the internet or Facebook over work over shop over gamble over exercise perhaps you can relate to one of these things or even something else the one thing I've learned as a physician is we all have something in my case after a long journey I learned I became fat by over eating shocking right it what was a little shocking
was realizing that I over eat because I did not know how to fuel my feelings what does it mean to feel your feelings how does a person do this let's walk through the process first you have to take the time to feel your feelings you're where you are having feelings and emotions I know it sounds funny however so much of this is so one conscious next
name your feelings you may have to start out with is is a good feeling or a bad feeling and then narrow it down to get more specific from there now explain your feelings where is it in your body your head your chest stomach is it fast or slow does it have a color is it hot work hold is it a fumbling or just a small vibration
now sit with your feelings don't try to buffer or dull the emotion a move toward it don't try to resist just allow it to be take a deep breath Finn and relax into it the reason it is important to feel your feelings is Savannah Jennifer at the thought causing those feelings I found this to be the secret sauce because I could change thoughts that were benefiting
the but before I could get to this point I had to feel it name it explain it and sit with it again ida feel my feelings name my feelings explain my feelings and sit with my feelings after I started to do this I found every time I was tired I ate every time I was overwhelmed I ate every time I was happy I eat every time
he was angry bored lonely sad I ate I ate I ate through thirty thousand hours of education now one person not a single class in school no medical book ever taught me how to feel my feelings and experience my emotions without buffering so I learned the hard way I buffer with food I make thousands of decisions a day many of them critical I then go home
to husband two daughters two dogs and a cat all vying for my attention this can be overwhelming by eating a cookie I could antique any emotion into the pot on the back burner for just a moment when the cookie was gone and the emotional break was over the feeling of was still there and now intensified and dinner still had to be made this cycle was uncomplicated
by the frustration of the resulting weight gain so it them but for the frustration with the cookies because that made sense and then I wouldn't feel self discussed and again another cookie you see the insanity and now let's refer back to those things I mentioned earlier can you relate with too much alcohol TV Facebook for every emotion good or bad you may I tried the ease
the feeling was something and not even realize you were avoiding your emotions unfortunately for me my buffer was evident for the world to see as fat on my body over working over gambling in over shopping may not be as evident for others to be aware of maybe you're thinking my buffers benefiting me my career soaring I'm in great shape on the life of the party after
a few drinks but are you enriching and improving your overall well being are you actually engaging with people who mean the most to you after years of offering my brain has developed some fairly deep rooted habits are you thinking feel your feelings don't put food in your mouth to understand how hard this is for me to do let's try something grab your pen in the corner
of the paper sign your name not in calligraphy doctor's signature now take your pen and place it in your other hand sign your name again what was once an easy automatic mindless task now takes considerable conscious effort and energy this is what it's like to no longer buffer with food for me after over eating for a lifetime I realize quickly to remove this buffer would not
be easy or automatic now let's refer back to that your something again wasn't having that third glass of wine buying fabulous shoes spending hours on the internet bring awareness to it in the beginning I did do this after eighty the cookie because my eating habits were so unconscious for example I would ask was I hungry admixture was stomach hunger not brain hunger rain Congress actually emotional
eating or cravings if the answer to the stomach cover question was no I would venture to name the feeling I was avoiding sometimes had a hard time finding the correct word to describe my feelings and emotions so I did what every good mom does and every physician hates to hear a Google that I know I now have my comprehensive list in hand and could name any
feeling or emotion that my brain would throw at me axis got easier Ivette had defined the split second right after I had the thought right before the food was in my mouth and sit with the emotion for you and maybe the instant that you hear the glass clinking ice clinking the glass for your gin and tonic the second that the shoes are in your shopping cart
or the moment that you are typing in your Facebook password if you've never sat with a feeling intentionally all warn you it does not feel like rainbows and daisies my main emotion overwhelm was the color red it was a racing in my head an uneasiness in my chest a one in a crowd in my skin every time I felt overwhelmed I dreamed of jumping in the
car blasting the radio and driving far far away doesn't some terrible right uncomfortable but not horrible then the chatter in my brain started you should really take a break you would be that cookie it'll taste so good you deserve this we all have that voice in our head sometimes I wish there was a new but not mine this voice as logical as it sounds are just
my emotions hacking my brain now they've identified the feeling and sat with the feeling when I left with I'm left with not over eating and living a truly unbuffered life I now can feel any emotion and no it'll be okay that doesn't mean I'm in the clear though unfortunately every time I felt I had to handle my emotions life would throw me a curve ball like
an eight year old's birthday party imagine a dozen eight year old girls running around chasing each other screaming at the bone cells parents giving pep pick up instructions presence everywhere the tables need to be set and the cake need surgery after somebody took a finger sample then the injuries on the boo boos started I typical response I'm not on call brush it off why wouldn't that
be anxiety producing you guessed it I gravitated to the chapel looking back I should've been able to predict that one needless to say I engaged more with that chapel than I did with my birthday girl hindsight is twenty twenty so after the party I sat down and they describe things ID as tunnel vision light headedness dry mouth tightness in my throat competition semi hard butterflies in
my stomach sweaty palms Jello legs and a yellow colored fuel banana yellow in fact I practice all my emotions and the subset I mentioned earlier to feeling my feelings my new habits began to take hold like anything the more I practiced the easier it gets you too can connect with others on a deeper level rather than having that glass of wine you can get more work
done rather than feeling overwhelmed you can have more money in the bank rather than all that extra stuff you really don't need in the first place now I can say I enjoy the girls running around screaming I know I may feeling shows but I'd rather be with these precious girls and unbuffered Fenton miss out on the joys of being a parent I know without a doubt
I will reach my healthy weight I've already lost thirty five pounds and I feel great it's not just about the wait till I can focus again never could before I can control the thoughts I'm overwhelmed I need a cookie I shouldn't have a cookie I really want a cookie I don't need a cookie I get more work done at work rather than a home routinely taking
about four to five hours of precious weekend time that I now get to spend with my family as you can see now that I can identify the feeling and sit with the feeling I can identify the fog causing that feeling I want to challenge you the next time you reach for the credit card cupcake candy crush or captain and coke you pause feel your feelings name
