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TEDx Talks
Published: 2017-02-06
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR_hq7OVzHU
so uniquely privileged speech at least that's what we have a problem we needed because I just had had cups and they were quite violent side luckily we're all good now so I can start we do have a problem nine and that is the most important relationship we have in our lives is the one we have with ourselves when not talked about said I want to challenge
you think about if we were told what's the cost to ourselves using south can could we help enrich our lives make us happier combat our insecurities and enable us to reach our full potential for example have you ever blamed your body all my god that dress is so cute icon wherein I have roles I know why he didn't call me back because I pawn ten pounds
last week down those burritos and the thing is body image is often associated with teenage girls but in fact men and boys are affected too Ethan disorders a mental health can affect anyone at any age at any time and that's why this is so important to me and why we're here today connect to if you will so many guys now a going to the gym and
they're even abusing steroids because maybe the southeast would get more likes if they had a six pack of ABS not beer I know that when I was younger I would look in that mirror every single day and hate what I saw why don't I have a thigh gap what is it like this fight eight the other one more pimples are you kidding me I hate myself
not so sad because I could get those years back of self loathing calorie obsession and jealousy so I decided to use those experiences that I've had to gain a better understanding of the relationship I have with my body and my self and by practicing self care I was able to change my life I hope today I can encourage you bull if you haven't already started to
stop that journey of self love it's crazy these days we have so many pressures and now we have social media with the rise of social media we literally have a weapon of mass destruction to our self esteem twenty four seven you guys you can seem social media have you ever lost one two maybe even three hours your very eyes deep in someone's profile yeah thinking are
while at the store in the law of all the goings all these amazing holidays they have that dream job have this perfect life twice in my life like that the scary thing else that's not real social media is a curated filtered often and brushed and sometimes even lifestyle illusion that's why we need to be taught about it that is why we need to be taught how
to cope with these pressures in schools and it's become my mission to teach self cat and get it into the education system because we need to be taught how to look after ourselves mentally physically and emotionally I'm very grateful I have so three million followers on line and I commit to being a fan take honest with them and not re touching my pictures that I own
because I have to forgive myself I've been in the industry for thirteen years and I would get images back of myself that my family couldn't even recognize me when I flipped through the magazine let you couldn't find me and I would look at these pictures and think whoa wow headed Haas mounds go my legs so much Schinia I've got zero flaws is that women slept I
meant to beat back perfected image wow what icon even look like that and that's me that's wrong so why is it that we feel these insecurities in the first place because from a very young age we've been conditioned to believe that our success and happiness it's highly dependent on our attractiveness think about all the prince and princess as you saw slim toned toll proportional features the
magazines and celebrating survey white lost its actually unhealthy for those who have been nipped and tucked it twenty years younger because if we are insecure we are motivated consumer we can be sold an anti wrinkle cream my thirteen year old a push up bra that looked absolutely ridiculous because I've been on sat years ago when actually wearing a bra undid the bra to give unattainable cleavage
yeah that that happens site about pads but Pat there in old age Jean outfits he stayed to thank and I recently was trained by the national eating disorders association after you ask who I'm gonna pass before is something called the body project a fast scientifically proven cost to help prevent eating disorders in young people and it's just for one hour sessions the impact on these people's
was outstanding it confirmed to me that we need to be talking about this so I thought I'd share with you some of that today the main concept we teach is the beauty ideal women off we get all the kids have magazines and a pickup the pass the bodies I'm gonna break it down for them okay so what's the perfect body that one it's toll is big
big small waist or it's ridiculous ABS it's the time it straight Harris no flaws is not real no is that Shiva both know I've so what are the sacrifices in cost for you to try and attain this so detrimental to your mental and physical health and guess what who wins from the spot so the bronze the magazines the pharmaceutical industry and who loses we lose so
we need to embrace our bodies for more than that we need to stop trying to attain perfection because we're good enough already and if we could start redefining the beauty ideal imagine celebrating someone's achievements their accomplishments that personality than Marlton that values to me that's beautiful I've recently %HESITATION was challenged to get three women who would refuse to ever be in a bikini the gun a
bikini live on national TV in front of three million people and on the streets of London in front of crowds and these are women who I generally talk to kind of school kids their alter there was actually a lady in her seventies who'd recently I lost apart now and have excess skin there was another lady who was a mother that she had an eating disorder and
really struggled with body image her whole life and the other women had been horrific Klay body shamed by an ex partner so with the guy backstage rooms are Hawkeye I hope I can do this and they call me in the eye if screen needs get in the changing room right now all breaking down well no wonder they stuck three women in a room with one Mira
and five detainees and said you must choose one of these and you're going to go out there and it might come on that's a lot of pressure I'm so I went in there and I took them in one of my biggest areas of south caffe which I call my mirror challenge so initially the stunning in America the first thing they do and I'm sure many of
you do as well its see your insecurities we need to change that discussion so I get my friends to mera enough bikinis and I tell them pick out five things that you love about yourself I gave him a few examples and they started while on the life of the party I'm an amazing friends I'm creative and independent I'm hard working I'm courageous and then they start
thinking well you know I'm pretty cool of they they started feeling proud of themselves and then I told them not to cut five things that you love about your body for what it does for you because we want to change that discussion is not just about what your body looks like your body is an incredible thing so they started saying the most and it was so
inspiring for me as well because you never know people are gonna come up with so one woman and said well the stretch marks even arms really insecure about them they enabled me theme of the stomach enabled me to pass my children now have grandchildren and that's the best part of my life another woman said I'm grateful for these hands because I was able to be a
seamstress and provide for my whole family the last woman said well I love my legs because I love running through the English countryside it calms me down and it's what makes me happy these women were smiling they felt value they were so proud and sells I then proceeded to tell them that not only is it going to change that life being able to embrace their bodies
and go out there becomes known for the women and men at home he feel just the way they did it's going to help them to for them to stand up there and get to do its height frequent empower them to as well so still in one hundred percent not they were going to do it but we go out there site by the Thames in London and
sure enough all three dropped arrives that was tears that was hugging to the women didn't even put the rug back on they went all the way straight through the TV show backs backup to gesturing like well here I am now I'm doing it so I'm not going back it was life changing %HESITATION and I've never felt so purposeful or also filled with hope I'm and that's
why I'm so excited to be here with you all today kind shadow stories so that's one of my main ways that %HESITATION I practice self can the next one is called a gratitude list I have an example actually I have to produce it not that long ago I was out in LA with my boyfriend we went shopping say once the store and I saw these gorgeous
designer jeans not like okay I'm gonna treat myself so the stores close it's like what size the year I sat room like twelve I don't know what that is maybe if that's the one inch because while it decides we have is this one is a twenty nine but its star stretchy it's definite affect everyone fits in it so okay so going to the changing room which
is the worst place in the world aids claustrophobic hal usually hot the lines from above the mirror is just awful and then just fill you in the demons it is that way things like pounce on you some in now at these jeans it's like me against the jeans and a math I'm I'm that I had not gone well an itchy shouting and I bet they look
so good the might not yet again that I think I got here and I was like it's great you just enough to give up and that's when it hit I broke the fifteen year old me came back it said you unworthy of being in these jeans yep she begged what's wrong with you like honey fence the biggest pair jeans in the store and that's when I
come on I spoke among you that's half keg go go go brought out my gratitude lists I want you all to start your own right now tonight because it saved me in that moment while I take my holiday I have a real boyfriend he loves me at this size so clearly does goodness %HESITATION I'm in LA I'm from England that's awesome I'm I'm healthy I'm alive
I have clean water and then I started to think that how these jeans right here this piece of fabric try to break me right now these are not going to ruin my day I refuse flat out refuse to let this ruin how I feel about myself so I used that self care that knowledge thank god I thought that because otherwise I would have gone out their
blundering mess the my boyfriend but what's wrong with you so that is my other piece of self that I'm giving seeing if we got back and the reason why this can seem shots of some maybe but it's actually really important because there are some shocking statistics up that did you know as a teenage go you what twelve times more likely to die from eating disorder that
any of the illness that there are over thirty million of us in the US alone have an eating disorder and that ninety percent of all children who die from suicide have a mental health condition another mentioned earlier social media is already growing purses only getting less and fifty two percent of U. S. teams now say they've been psychobilly I think Syrians fast hands hate online trolling
online and we also need to talk about that that to me is also part of south can because the police I just putting the insecurity that they have onto you I know that when someone says something nasty about me its reflection of how the feeling inside but we need to educate people we need to educate the victims and the bullies so this stops happening one way
I like to do it is ignore it reports it blockade delete set act like it never happened but I found another cool way which was %HESITATION I recently got a comment and it for me it was hysterical but actually a few of my photos that really upset about it because they said you are the reason that the healthcare system is a mass you need to put
down your McDonald's and stop eating crisps how ridiculous is that I happen to be on set in my underwear doing a shoot with Chris surround me and I thought man it seems like a good opportunity to show my made us so I decided to do a picture of me confident Chris eat sing the chorus either at you like hell no you given you bring me down
I'm gonna keeping Chris even more now actually I really really like Chris now squiggly I wanted to empower myself I wanted to be able you something that was negative and turn into a positive sure enough we got video got like eighty million views or something because that's what we want to see we want to build each other up we want to empower each other I'm so
grateful as being head today and be able to connect to the Yule because I want to encourage every single one of year to invest in yourself right now I want you to understand that if you learn self cath practice self can you can then gift south caffe imagine being able to give your loved ones the gift of self love eat your body in a loving way
it's the only one you've got it's your home and it deserves your respect if you see anyone tearing themselves down built the backup and what shall live positively grow when you give up the pursuit of perfection because the real beauty ideal is being in perfectly you thank you so much everybody thank you
