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TEDx Talks
Published: 2014-10-21
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMyofREc5Jk
right in Bergen this is time this week come in Bergen I live in Oslo the high cost of living in the wrong place yeah and as you quite rightly say my name Pellegrino just my first name means pilgrim it was given to me by my Italian parents %HESITATION it's as if they knew what I was gonna do for the rest the my life you know I
was given the name pilgrim in the new trouble the world ends and that's basically what it is this is my workplace of their lot of traveling %HESITATION give you a fancy title of what I do but what I really do is I try to help people communicate especially in a global business world so I try to help people communicate better with other nationalities that you know
the first thing you think of when you work with a national season cross culture communication is let's look at the other coaches will I take a slightly different approach I think that people take a look yourself so I'm gonna talk a lot about perception because it's all about perception understanding what people see not as you saw I have Italian in me I have a lot of
British in me some people often surprised by my English accent quite nice isn't it and you would expect in this I know you work tonight you're expecting me to speak with you about Iraq's into it but it does make a and of Illinois for over a third of my life actually so got a lot of Norwegian to me as well and I love what I like
doing the people I have the social experiments test their perception of me no this had trouble so I I I like playing with the airlines I like going up to the airlines and talking English or something to talk with an Italian accent see what kind of reactions I get another English is the press one if you want good service you speak English like Tigers fantastic people
take you seriously well they do you know I mean this so they the plane to Bergen was late you know and if I go up and say excuse me the it's thirty minutes late on a punctual person I don't like being late you know they just take you seriously because of FOR try in an Italian accent so I went up and I actually said you know
%HESITATION excuse me but the blind is that of the man is like I'm a punctual but it's that you know exactly I got the same reaction as you did to him and this is one of the problems of working with other nationalities you know people see what they want to see and they don't always see what you see and this is this is this is one
of the challenges now before we get into it culture this look of culture culture my definition of culture and I know this doesn't cover everything let's keep it simple I usually do two day workshops in this cycle eighteen minutes a system of behavior that helps us act in an accepted all familiar way key words that accepted all familiar with basically doing things which are accepted in
all social group for which a familiar so a lot of my work isn't she expat explaining Norwegian behavior to other nationalities so I'm constantly looking for this sort of come we describe in a region in a nutshell and I think I found a fungus fantastic texts on the internet I want you to read it with me it's really is worth reading and a if you were
to use a color to describe this person would have to be green believes in isolation in this home a place the best describes as his and cozy however is not the most receptive of people when it comes to visit okay the to go to each of he is somewhat primitive but he is honest straightforward and only really wants in life are the simple it presses like
peace and quiet you recognize any of this there are some key words the kind of can you say that that jump parts that you I think okay that's a stereotype puts a lot of this is a bit true I I'm I'm no show the student regions may come in all the I. okay okay I'll give you that one I'm gonna surprise and this is a description
of a Norwegian but of a Hollywood film stock yeah would you like to know it is there it is person there and the point about this is you often believe what people tell you is well you know it I could sit there and some of this is and we can hang out and you believe it's not an original thought that maybe this could be a Norwegian
there is going off to his house that but there are many words in there which I accepted unfamiliar except familiar now another accepted a familiar thing about Norwegian life is the forest I live in the us the air it's all forest and but working across borders these basically I'm you know not not not accepting completed the your assumption as are the assumptions about this I mean
that's logic you know common sense and that we should force is a good thing isn't it Norwegians in the room it's so good it's fresh air it's nature it's helped that skiing is fantastic well that's what my wife for a the first from my father visited us in no way because she thought we would do something nice so my wife awesomely telling father would you like
to go for a walk into politics and my father looked and said why and I had to explain to my wife you can't say too if you say to another Italian a you mean we go for a walk in the funniest that means something else you don't do it but how can you know that you know because you know how could she know that accepted in
familiar you know all of the time we went for a drive went for a drive and my father and we're looking at the same thing look at this you know beautiful region landscape among fathers taking photographs you know that he wants to show its friends and the road is kind of bumpy so he says to my wife and you slow the countdown please us stop the
kind I want to take a proper photograph of my wife says but Mr Riccati this nothing here and he looks at her and then he says to her I know I never seen nothing before but you know what was amazing with this is we're looking at the same pictures and were using completely different words to describe and this is the challenge working across borders we different
ideas of accepted a familiar his what's accepted unfamiliar to me when I Q. I was raised in the UK we are the world champions of killing waiting in line and you know I don't way with fantastic it you know it if you've been waiting in line at the supermarket in the UK let's say there are ten people waiting in line and we're getting a bit impatient
you know because we're waiting in line and then they opened a new cash register you know what will happen in the UK the first four people they won't move fast they accuse the next six people will move to the next cash register in more less the same order and they come to check with each other but if they open the cash register at the same will
happen is like a formation dunces photos they get would the same happened in Norway no what would happen if they shut tight in Norwegian this lady casa which is %HESITATION available cash register what happens everybody does Fritz it's first come first serve is not is not with X. at them familia not the first time that happened to me I was shocked I said some not very
nice things about Norwegians but you know it's it's you couldn't pick a bit deeper to find out why to Norwegians do that why are they running for that cash register why is it a free for all on first come serve I think it's got to do this walks they say this is the king of Norway on a train in nineteen seventy three that guy in the
cap on the rights this is the quality and I think the queuing system in no way is all about equality first come first serve is about equality and it's the ability to peek under the surface find out what the underlying values are that's how you know I had to communicate between this thing with the quality is really important or is the reason we're so laid back
with each other we don't bother with titles we dressed casually it makes a fantastic business environment actually doesn't it the sometimes this can take you a little bit by surprise and in those situations where you feel uncomfortable or irritated we have a tendency to jump to the negative conclusions rather than the positive conclusions you know I mean I travel all over the world I I know
you don't suppose that I'm this isn't an advertisement for the airlines but it's Scandinavian our lines and it's Lufthansa and at Singapore Airlines and everybody knows the Singapore Airlines has the best service why because we have a whole lot more hierarchy in the societies and therefore when they serve you they serve you and Singapore Airlines stuff again if you have been in Singapore Airlines flight but
you from the moment they welcome you they look like they can serve you don't how many is just body language it's like anything for you Sir now if assimilating airlines person did this when you came on yeah exactly would get suspicious wouldn't hear what's going on because it's not accepted all familiar that's it you know this is what it's all about so this is how we
do it I look at the space space is important nobody's touching and if you go to someone like Finland that space becomes even more can you say look at how fantastic I look at the way the queue in fronts this nothing like the way on your security and is different every day it's never the same what is some coaches you need a bit more to my
motivation to stand in line this is my favorite one this is fantastic look at this isn't that great they're all different we're all doing the same thing in slightly different ways now how did you get across borders hurt you had you navigate through this call to learn all the coats it's impossible here's a tip this is what I'm really passionate about curiosity I I'm has been
always will be a curious person curiosity gets you through a lot of things I believe you can ask any question anybody about just about anything provided you do curiosity that's it curiosity is a great thing that I got three kids but you know kids are the most cutest creatures on the planet a recent survey our benefit believe this but I have to call to apparently four
year olds lost up to three hundred ninety questions per day eighty two percent of those questions will be to mothers rather than fathers you know why because when the kid goes to the father what is the father say going ask your mother yeah you know curiosity is so important you know and I I remember the time you know one of the most difficult situations I had
I was a having a meal in Helsinki in Finland and I was sitting there and the thing is it's how means when we we talk we have to talk action see how we talk we eat and we talk among all alone on the ice in the many coaches that do that fins on the other hand don't hafta talk they can talk but they don't have to
so I'm sitting next to the spring and I'm trying to be curious and create conversation and I thought okay small talk the rules of engagement of small talk rule number one Oscar curious simple question rule number two listen to Beyonce and pick out a word follow up that word really simplistic so was there and this quiet fame was sitting next to me and I turned to
Miller said and so have you lived in Helsinki oil off and he looked to be a little strange to me said multi yet moments like these you know which word why falafel not forget sooner they really challenged curacy but you've got to be curious and it's really sing put you know what it is about the Nordic coaches it's all about economy of language you know its
audience use loads and loads of words I say very very little action in the Nordic countries is different is the opposite its minimum words maximum message right so where I was raised in the U. K. U. K. is also lots of words by the way I look at this issues me mad just interrupt you for a second that's ten words that's way too many words the
Norwegians managed to do this in one word now that's what I call economy of language was to work look at this yeah that's it here's another example look sorry for bumping into you let that terribly clumsy of me that's way too many words and we just do it in one word ready there goes fantastic a my favorite and you know the old sis already boycotts what
you just said it well done how one word no the first time I heard the I just look at this you see and I got three kids now gonna hand that parent parent but look we own to the negative side I look to the curiosity and this is it more often misperceived because on a serious note this hat which I've heard many times doesn't often get
to see very positively by other nationalities you get it yet and everyone has been misperceived inner life I mean the Dutch are often misperceived they complain all they are the world champions of complaining the Dutch but why do they do it they do it because they're looking for something better one way you do it is to complain and seek a better result that's often difficult I
used to work with a guy was French he is French I used to work with him is thing was eve he's eve complained a lot as well template about everything in the quest since everything it a fantastic line you know I would come into work can once again it's working I said to eve good morning and he looked at me he said easy I mean he
was a lot level you know I I and I'm I've had my challenges to I've had my challenges to the biggest challenge I've had a living in no way trying to communicate with my father allegiance is because this thing with feelings and it feelings you know where I come from we express %HESITATION what I've learned to do I have to learn to do is kind of
told myself that and actually living in the Nordic countries who are living in auto myself down low key become because it works better it is often very very difficult check %HESITATION another thing is rules I find rules I still find rules a little tricky I must admit that's where I'm quite it's highly now these are people driving into work in a tiny nose in in Norway
the following rules can you see and the simple rules the rules are keep between the lines and don't use that laid over there that's the public transport lane unless you're a bus or taxi on electrical simple rules I look at this every single car manages to drive between the lines is fantastic no this is a little clip but I took this summer driving that's it's late
the police car that cause got nothing to do with the police car and this is the little short clip it big you know look at him I mean would you do that in no way you know you wouldn't you know you wouldn't say and this is where the confronts what they do yeah look what what happens is you see is that they drift I love the