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Channel / Source:
TEDx Talks
Published: 2017-08-29
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8XQ6N94aZc
I learned last dean's list I just truly did it's not amazing city and it's the place where dreams come true but oftentimes we are we talk about all of the rejection that it takes to achieve those dreams I had the opportunity to work as a casting director and a town each it in doing so I had to tell actors no over and over again delivering rejection
on a daily basis and having those positions I gained a better understanding for the word no a new perspective it's often said that if you keep hearing now over and over again that eventually your gas will come but I like to believe that that concept is always true it isn't the fact is sometimes your guests we'll never come and so you created so how do I
do that how do you create your own yes when you keep hearing no there's a lot of different ways to do it but I'm gonna talk to you about three principles that have really worked well for me the first is paying attention to your environment your environment might be that people that you know the places that you go the content that you consume or even the
physical roads that you travel on day today here in Los Angeles we have the luxury of accessing the four oh five freeway which is the most congested freeway in the United States on any given day there are over four hundred thousand cars traveling on the four or five I remember one day I was on the four of five into my right it was sort of like
motion guy my intention to look and I did as a witness that's my college friend Arthur streams and he motioned me to get off on execs it and so I did we exchanged contact information as I was driving away I was thinking to myself that is so strange but what are the odds you would actually see someone you know in the for a five it wasn't
as if we had attended the same event and then left the same time and that happens we driving into the valley that wasn't the case he had just moved to Los Angeles and I had only been there sort couple of months believe it or not we started hanging out a lot since that point that we saw each other and our I have been married for fourteen
years create your own gas is about living the life that you want to live it's about creating the experiences and putting the people in life if you want to live your life with equally as important as the people that will meet it's also the content that we consume I was reading an article in The Hollywood Reporter and it was an article about Tyler Perry the filmmaker
producer and they were talking about the success that he had with when his feature film and the president of the lions gate was quoted saying they were looking for more material just like it well the time I had a screenplay Hollywood chaos that I had been pushing around town no one here wants to read it or they read it and told me now over and over
again even literary agents and managers told me now so I decided to send the president of wines gay any now and to my surprise he responded and he's the seed several of his executives on his team and in a few short days they read my scripts now we passed but it took me with me and got to know more about me as a producer and filmmaker
and what I wanted to do here in LA our connections are so important they can help to propel your life forward and another really important thing about creating your own yes is basically using all of the knows that you're receiving and figuring out a way to create a yes so all the information that you're getting when you receive a no and formulating your own yes I've
been rejected so much in my lifetime even when it comes to childbirth with my first son I had Assyrian I see section and with my second child I really wanted to have a V. back which is a badge no birth after having a sea section I talked to my doctor about it we agreed that this was the plan and this was the birth I was going
to happen on the day that my daughter was due my doctor said to me that I was no longer going to be able to have you back it's a game we some pretty ridiculous reasons but one was very valid she said to me to the hospital where when it's delivered no longer did he backs and I am believer so I called the hospital and they validated
her and I was shocked I was devastated and I was very pregnant so what I do I called ten more hospitals and you know what they told me no no no no no I'm sorry ma'am no it's too much of a risk now no no yeah so on an eleven phone call I use all of the information that I had gathered on the nose all the
reasons why they told me now and I explained to the doctor listen I know all the reasons why nots let me explain to you why yes if you listen to me you heard me out he invited me into his office and he examined me he reviewed my medical records and he decided that I was the perfect candidate to have a be back he promised me that
we would have won and I did with my second child and again with my third child and when I was in the hospital room with my third child a pregnant nurse came into the hospital room and she said I heard that you had a V. back I said yes I did she said I really wanted to have one but my doctor told me now and I
said well ten hospital so we know to but here's my doctors card and that's the third principle when it comes to creating your own yes is being a part of someone else's death helping someone else achieve their dreams and their accomplishments when you think about it creating is about collaborating no one achieved anything or create anything alone no one now if you're one of those people
it has not been rejected a lot in your lifetime rank are you haven't been told no a whole lot you need to dive into life a little bit more because rejection is really a good thing the craziest thing that I've ever done is to dive into a McDonald's dumpster after they were close how high in trash and let me tell you why you know the board
the ad monopoly game that they have break the monopoly pieces well I had the part place piece at home okay and I was in a McDonalds and I got the boardwalk peas and I so it's one of my colleagues and I'm like oh my gosh I think I just won a million dollars because I had the part B. fees at home and he was like no
that's not possible now again I think it's possible either maybe I'm maybe and maybe having mixed up you know maybe I actually have this piece already so I threw it away so I got home and realize that I did indeed have partly so I had just thrown away bill winning these so what I do I call that Matthew hay said I'll split the money with you
if you agree to go with me into the dumpster he said sure so Matthew and I went to the McDonald's after their clothes and dive in it was disgusting as I'm sure you can amend it we Doug for Bower hours and then all of a sudden the police came in the flash lights and came over and said what are you doing I explain the situation and
he said keep on digging sadly I did not find the peace I know right now but I learned something very important about myself I learned it not only was I willing to get my hands dirty but might be thirty and my hair and when a black woman is willing to get her hair dirty trust me that's a big deal what I learned is that I was
