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TEDx Talks
Published: 2017-04-03
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KysuBl2m_w
as someone who has been in the healing arts for many many years well for some years %HESITATION I I am an observer of those of us who are in the healing arts we are observers of the patterns that mystify us in what makes why do we become mill why do we break down what helps us to become better I mean we are great mysteries to each
other and I I find it so interesting that for all the years that we continue to study us that we are such mysteries which should tell us right off the bat that we continue to open places within our self that we ourselves as we are the observers that we are continuing to learn how to observe and that we as the as human beings are continuing to
find places to observe let us say that the world behind our I is our new frontier and that we have become intrigued with ourselves in a way that %HESITATION other generations have not that we are that this is the new frontier we are the new frontier and so observing for example why we become ill why we don't heal has a different meaning then if that question
were asked of before World War two the depths to which we now look at ourselves and the depth to which were asking that question is a whole gram compared to how once upon a time they passed and they were maybe looking for an infection we are looking for a story a narrative a reason reasons that are a complexity when I've been working with people now for
three and a half decades and as an observer of people there's so many many things I could share with you but I've narrowed them down for obvious reasons and of two choice I want to emphasize the power of choice and perhaps there was a time when we wouldn't even talk about it but we have to talk about that today because choice is a fundamental power of
the human experience you have you we need put choice as a as an authority as a power that is so huge that if I ran the world this is where you should say that's a good idea but if I ran the world I would make studying the power of choice part of every school curriculum that everyone should learn that the power of the choices you make
have infinite consequences from the littlest choice to something that is great big huge and that here's the paradox you have no idea what a little choices or a big choice you are what we are used to doing is believing that a big choice is an obvious one buying a house getting married getting divorced in fact those are your small choices the choice is that paid that
actually matter when it comes to your health when it comes to healing when it comes to positioning yourself empowering yourself are the tiny ones that use that are the choices I should say that you think have the least power that you make in the privacy of your own company that perhaps you think have the most they are the most insignificant I have found repeatedly repeatedly are
the most powerful choices of your life the most powerful did the most powerful impact on your biology on your inner space on your soul on your %HESITATION sense of who you are and your well being I'm your I'm your whole life map not tell you something else that these are the types of statements that are dicey to make because of someone said I want you to
bring proof of this in a basket I couldn't do it but our if you listen with your heart and your gut and see if it doesn't settle well they're like good chicken soup so I'm gonna take you through choices the kind of choices that if you came to me and said I don't feel well I don't feel well and I I have chronic chronic illness and
I go for one chronic illness to another I have chronic chronic illnesses I am always a crime my gin nothing makes me happy I am always complaining and I I eight and I'm exhausted and almost make on exhaustion but I don't and I almost like my life but I actually don't and I almost can love someone but not really I almost make it their way actually
feel love but I don't actually really feel it I think I feel it so I think feel I think feel and every now and again I gotta get a love high but it doesn't last I take two aspirins it passes but then I think maybe it is but then it's not but then it is but it almost is but not quite so I go to a
therapist is this love but if I try hard enough but maybe so I find someone to blame chronic illness we there's never been people like us who have these issues %HESITATION extraordinary and Irish's and as I go into this here's another thing that is unique about us I put this in your chicken soup belly we are born knowing certain things we're wired for it's in our
instant desire spiritual instincts it's an R. D. and it's in our sole DNA we are born knowing that choice is powerful choice is the most powerful thing we got going for us and we know it and that's the reason why we're terrified to make a choice I somebody would you want to go for it and I don't know pick a restaurant now can't even pick grocer
people are terrified of making choices terrified of the consequence you choose terrified of being held accountable for a consequence well I don't know where I wanted to I I think about it good morning on that day in your mind gets the day shift unite gets the your heart gets the night shift you might as well I think your hearts as I feel hear what the two
of them talk to each other because if they do then the action of to do something choice terrifies people to most people will do anything to postpone making choices so I'm gonna help you out we're gonna go through a list of choices that matter that matter that make a difference the first choice is the decision to actually live and integra slight and when I say make
a choice to do that kind of thing I mean I don't mean well I can live a good life nine hundred and the now I'm talkin full scale I'm gonna walk the way I talk I'm actually going to do it I'm a little life of integrity I'm I'm is never mind the speak my truth come actually going to tell the truth I'm going to live with
integrity I'm going to make my choices according to what I say I believe I'm going to live I will not and what this means is that I'm not going to betray myself I'm not going to compromise myself I'm not going to put myself in a position worse or put myself in any circumstance refined in a circumstance have get now why won't force another person I won't
force another person to be in a circumstance in which I know they're uncomfortable in order to please me I won't hold another person captive because that has no integrity I will not do that now let me tell you something lawyers don't heal lawyers don't heal so you can eat all the wheat grass you want and you could do all this stuff with seed sin vegetables but
an honest person who eats cat food will go further than you dishonest people people who live people who have moral crises in do not get it people who blame others for things that they do and they know it people who make choices and they know another person's going to pay for the consequence of their choice and they are conscious of it they know for a fact
that they're saying something that is not true and they know another person is gonna be hurt by that people who deliberately say things to hurt somebody believe you me your body knows you did that your mind knows you did that your heart and soul knows you did that should know you did that so don't tell yourself under any circumstances that the problem with your depression comes
from your childhood don't go there knock it off and make the decision the decision to be live an integra slight means get this act together so it's not as simple as saying I'm a good person knock it off this is major league second a taking notes Nnamdi you make a decision I will not pass my suffering on but my was still I make the decision not
to pass on my suffering but my wisdom so that from the years of your life you make the decision big gifts that I have to pass not neither pass on the wisdom I've learned or I will pass on that the stage for suffering all my poor life Abdellah depended on the back Borgo harvest the wisdom what do you want to pass time slide to the wisdom
that's up to you everybody has a choice and everybody can pass on but again it's the choice it's the choice we all have that and believe me I am not saying we don't hear grief we don't have pain but if we look at life there are certain things that all of spiritual the great religious traditions the great spiritual holy traditions have in common and one of
them lessons of these these traditions one of the great learnings is that life will never be with that wonderful which thing that we wanted to do be which is what we call fair you will never be that who will never be well that's why this happened I had someone tell me one time well if I only knew if I only knew why this happened to me
and I said then what difference would that make what if what if god sent to name jewel in the angels who would you want I mean you been banging around down here what do you want I want to know why this happened in this happen in this happen but if he does so because it did now what but here's the thing some of the grief and
injuries that have happened to people are so horrible to it's unbelievable and the truth is nothing can make that go away nothing can make that better and the model of healing that we have to have is a model that says Healy is not about ever forgetting those things it's not about forgetting it's about looking at what is happened to us and saying this will never defeat
me it will never defeat me but I will not live in this I have to somehow turn this into my source of wisdom but I will not live in wall I will not and that becomes this choice I have to choose wisdom or wall but I can't make it go away if you can't make it go away then that is the choice will still or while
the third the choice to take risks take risks in your life don't wait for proof take risks and how does this factor into your house because what happens is people who as you what happens when people become mill and they feel their life force diminishing they always hit regrets you will always hit the regret stage you will always hit the power should have done this I
should have done that I should have you'll always hit that place is as you begin to feel yourself weakening even if you're going to go right back up you'll have to regret stage in which you visit the life you wish you had lived even if you just have a cold where the regrets that happens when you when we were all of us begin to diminish and
our strength and stamina is we review the life we should have had had we taken risks had we not lived a life in which the way and we make our decisions was based on the fear of being humiliated what a fine he we ended by this what if I can't take the consequences of it what if I'm too frightened what if I'm alone what if this
cost me too much money will what it and to this I would say go home and ask yourself how many of my greatest fears have actually really happen how many of actually really happened how many of my greatest fears have really happened in that actually calculate right down how many of the most wonderful things that have happened to me did I actually have anything to do
with and probably to I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt there because if you luck and add that most of the best things that ever happened to you you can have anything to do with and if you think how did this happen probably through a lot of things that you know nothing about that were actually very risky and you didn't even know that don't take
the safe path don't tell yourself that because when you when you are making decisions about what to do don't look backwards for guidance because there's nothing quote back there do reason you are where you are is because that part of your life is don't look for over chart new don't go there well it's time to make a decision about I don't know what to do next
do not go to who you were what you did because it will pull you back perhaps even to places that don't exist anymore to images of yourself that are no more you are not that person and one of the ways to weaken you is that it causes you to long for things that are no longer appropriate and they're not in the field yet to come what
builds vitality would builds the desire to live your life fully and be present as for you to say it's time for something new be in the newness not afraid of it be it that newness be there next shoes new words I love this I love this one when I was growing up I I'm a wordsmith I'm a writer and the word Smith but I gaps Lugli
adore words I actually went to bed reading the diction and because every word is the universe unto itself every single word in in my workshop sometime if it's appropriate I tell people what I want you to is come back tomorrow with three words you're going to give me not make up one that you will never use again just want I just want one word and you
will never use it again never and I get to him everything that comes with that word everything and I don't care if the words to look letters three four I just want one word so imagine if you decided okay I'll give you the word bug I give you the word of whom blue and you'll never see below again now if I really really want you to
go home sometime in the next couple days if you hear this talk and think about if you really had to yank a word out of your head which meant you had to take the whole world that went with that word out of your head what would you give that person what word zebra you never Susie Bergen you really want to give up saying that animal okay
and everything that went with that now when someone says your thoughts and your words are not powerful go to then exercising coming through yet tour and then to construct the words that you say to another person word by word and how powerful every single word is that you not only that you say to another person but that you say to yourself what are the words you
say to yourself words that you should never other again to yourself where is that you should never ever use words that you should say what is that we're doing in my head when we finally do Quantel energy medicine micro energy medicine we will finally do it now says it energy analysis at a level that includes the power of the vocabulary that we use and we will