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TEDx Talks
Published: 2016-04-28
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53_2kLU0ZCc
the first time I says I was flats I was three years old fourteen years later I'm going to develop anorexia nervosa my story of anorexia stasis like many others does a history of bullying and disparaging comments made about my weight led to a health kick which spiraled out of control until the foods I considered healthy could count on one hand initially my peer group respected my
weight loss they were asking me for tips on how they too could achieve my results but what they didn't know was it with each pound I lost my body dissatisfaction became worse and worse I would spend hours staring in the mirror please be dissatisfied with myself seeing room for improvement this this funhouse Nero of fat rolls and cellulite which just didn't exist I didn't understand how
the number all my clothes label could be lying to me how the number on the scales could be lying to me so pledged two more strict Sean more punishment more purging I personally believe that you cannot overcome an eating disorder unless you yourself want to making promises to other people just to make them happy it's just gonna lead to relapse I know in my own instance
that I made a lot of promises I promise to get better someone off once and thing is I was very good at keeping my way to a plateau just a ball via over hospitalization but but just slow enough that every single time someone told me I could do with putting on a few pounds of it at that buzz of excitement funny enough he was comes oaks
it which really made the difference come to Oxford I realized maintaining an eating disorder and a serious condemn it career just wasn't compatible it wasn't a work so I had to kick some to the curb and luckily for me it was my eating disorder my love of psychology trump back of honor Exia and I am proud I am proud of what I've achieved in Oxford I
am proud of the fact that in the place where so many people for the pot I put myself back together but site address un I think what I really want taught you about today is that that aspect of the fact that that when I was losing weight I perceive something very different it looked like I was gaining weight but the really strange thing happened when I
started to gain it again when I started to recover it pays me that day I was sitting right away for again I'm not really concerned to me the body image isn't we think it is it's not it's not the reality that we we have towards all reflection the mirror is a construct or miss construct it's neurological artifice nowadays society house of really messed up view of
itself anyway I mean for example all it takes is is someone to say they think that that be useful and that hounded by social media being arrogant and vain bother than actually being self confident or having high self esteem well almost competitive with hospitals but at what point does body dissatisfaction become clinical at what point does forty dissatisfaction the company dysmorphia body dysmorphia is anxiety condition
in which patients have a complete fixation on the subject of floor the the importance of this condition cannot be over stressed because to compensate for this fixation patients will often self mutilate or even commit suicide but what I want to talk about today is that this isn't something that just affects clinical samples this is something which should affects every single one of you in this room
forty to small fears universal and I'm gonna show you how I present to you for cases of body dysmorphia which would really have a home the point that everyone here should really sit up and take notice about this condition so my first example body dysmorphia is not which extends my own story I'm not sporty dysmorphia and anorexia this image makes me really sad because a lot
of people might think that it's over extreme or or it's just it's a Steven fantasy of the Iraq sick to look in the mirror and say I look fat or they're just looking for a compliment but honestly I I see that picture and I see five years in my life but I do want to stray that that I don't pretend to have a universal full comprehensive
I'm not a comprehensive case of anorexia I mean anorexia is as unique as a fingerprint says you need because a cobweb but there are some anorexics who are completely aware of Aaron emaciation so much I felt when I keep losing to disguise it but I think that the relationship between anorexia and body dysmorphia as red as a robust one for example forty percent of people who
how forty dysmorphia will also have anorexia as I've already stated is one thing I'm really caution about clearing up any misconceptions surrounding anorexia and so what I want to really reiterate is that this is not vanity this is hallucination so powerful as this have the summation that it even affects the sub conscious level for example if you take an anorexic patient and you lost them to
walk through a sliding door but but measure at the exact time of which the door slides close enough that they they feel they have to rotate the shoulder of sub conscious movement the other exit to overcompensate by forty percent of their wits forty percent extra that's what they honestly believe dots the amount space they honestly believe that taking on when you compare that to control over
only over compensate by about eighteen percent will say is pretty staggering now there's a complete paucity of research with anorexia and body dysmorphia it's it's really has to be has to be addressed because speaking personally one of the things which really really hindered my recovery was knowing that that what I was saying was there was a huge disparity between that the only thing I can really
believe it is my sense is right so this huge disparity between that and and what everyone else was telling me so I've next saw the body dysmorphia is actually the reverse of that %HESITATION it's good muscles morphia and this is something that particularly affects men I wanted to include it because I honestly believe that there is a male mental health crisis in this country the English
stiff upper lip of propriety is asphyxiating it means that all men are suffering in silence and this is a prime cut case in point this it always seems ridiculous right but this perception that men who are very very large to clear in the muscle building communities weight lifting body building they have an honest perceptions that much smaller than they really on to compensate for that they
might use anabolic steroids or over exercise things which can be potentially lethal so the next time you see someone in the JM who's posing in the mirror and really beefy and you know I thought guy he might actually not be as happy as you think if of themselves so it may be something to keep in mind but it is important notice nights that's bodybuilders islands and
weightlifters have the report the highest levels of body dissatisfaction out of any sportsman but I get hit by those two examples are still pretty you know clinical that I have not you'll I would say I but sorry it is made %HESITATION definitely it is you two and I'll tell you why %HESITATION so I wanna talk about how body dysmorphia affects every single person in this room
it's a universal condition and I think we can all in some way relate to the main theme losing a few pounds off to Christmas especially it's February it's been awhile guys want you doing anything anyway not touching %HESITATION and but people don't consider when that on that weight loss journey is how this might affect their psyche how the psychological well being can be completely compromised by
weight loss perhaps the body dysmorphia as a key example of this it seems that there's a we did inertia between a physical change which the body does very quickly and then crash diets they was up in a household in the story %HESITATION hole of the tech talk %HESITATION button buttoned the brain called compensate for these changes the brain called patch up fast enough so what we
see in the mirror is what we were before you know if you heard when people talk about %HESITATION I still see the fat person in America these with the sec anecdotal evidence it's it's called fountain fat which is a really old scientific name apparently but if it's in relating to you found some Lynn syndrome the D. %HESITATION the pain which comes after amputation %HESITATION which which
is written very odd insert different phenomenon but %HESITATION they fountain slot is just a prime example of the fact that weight loss and body dysmorphia Radha is just is just a construct of the brain it's just what we see in the mirror isn't is not a reflection of reality it really is just what our brain can cobble together anyway that's one example of how and universally
we we all apply with an old trick the body dysmorphia and ourselves but also just generally ever in this room has a degree of body dysmorphia just as a result of being human we've evolved it it made sense in a different era to have an over exaggerated view of ourselves so the sense proprioception which means how much they had the sense of how much space we
take up in the world is exaggerated is larger than it is in reality announced to protect us from dommages protected to protect us from hurting ourselves so it's good for the clumsy people in the room great but but it's not so great when we live in a society which values taking off as little space as possible then we have a real issue especially when you combine
that with low self esteem then you have that facilitates real mental health issues but this phenomenon can be triggered a simply is putting a hand underneath the desk then having %HESITATION trying to estimate the proportions you to hand if you watch enough now you realize you've mapped out a boxing club of gloves essentially so anyway I would really have established that body dysmorphia something universal and
it's not just the clinical samples it's not just for the psychiatrist chat it's something which we should all consider and take notice of but %HESITATION because I'm studying psychology ands but I found it quite cathartic at the time to really try to understand what was happening to me so we started looking into pointed small for in the brain and I was really disappointed says no hole
of research out that I mean what little research there is out there suggests that perhaps there may be a link between body dysmorphia and a CD of the brain structures involved in a CD seem to be implicated in body dysmorphia and does kinda make sense if you think about it because of the %HESITATION excessive nature of the fixation or in body dysmorphia and also the compulsions
that will be enacted to compensate for this for this fixation so that does kinda make sense but it also I think perhaps the serotonin system might be involved but then again serotonin system being you know the happy chemical but on the problem with that is severed tendencies being voted everything's so I could probably say loneliness assigns do serotonin or five to wake up at three o'clock
in the morning has something to do with serotonin and it just it just didn't make me feel particular it didn't feel adequate enough for me so so much more such needs to be done and I thought why not make up a theory of my own because I've got nothing better today %HESITATION accepted degree why am I here a Cup finals anyway %HESITATION so my theory is
because like this term I think that the old adage seeing is believing is a little bit outdated I think a V. don't give enough credence to how the leaks can have a very real effects on our perception and what we see in the physical world around us just as a depressive only sees negativity will only have attentional system that directs him to the most negative interpretation
of an event so too perhaps can someone who has a negative view of that body or particular aspect of themselves have attentional system that just distorts and directs attention straight that and I think one thing that really captivated me in my studies was this dichotomy between some accord mental imagery witches imagination a belief and perception well these two things are very different because perception is is
this data driven it's it's like rats in a separate units very energy intensive it's it's the most in energy intensive thing that we do %HESITATION and then mental imagery so the picky backs on top at the break same brain structures as my eyes perception as I wanted well if maybe in case is a perceptual breaks down you know when those high load for example %HESITATION so
that could be in the cases I've provided earlier could be something like malnutrition or or not giving yourself enough caloric intake or even over exercise one of these things could cause ambiguity of perception or even break it down and tied it and many people leaf or mental imagery compensates I so it shows us what we believe it's not an incredible sort of idea that maybe belief
is filling in the gaps of of of of what we see in the same way that when you're walking down a street at night ends and you believe because you're you're frightened and walking down a street at night by yourself annual threatens you worried about it and I and you believe Ogata's does amount in the court it's tough Stephanie Amman and don't mind will look to
you as real as you are I mean you get closer and closer inspections deftly a bush put but at that time you'll deception is telling you omigod because of threats and CC if it's interesting theory I do understand is highly speculative and I really haven't I haven't even gotten like my degree but yeah I don't know what I'm gonna get so who knows right but %HESITATION
either way it's something to think about and so what I'm trying to make the point I'm trying to make is this field is wide open for such and I think because I've pointed out just how universal body dysmorphia or is it something we should really be paying more attention to and I'd just like to conclude by saying society has never been more tied up in its
own reflection a reflection which only just Previn doesn't even reflect the trees anyway why is it that we called stop describing little girls it's pretty and little boys a strong thing you see that that's just gonna set them off for an expectation of disappointment which will only lead sent and facilitate gray on happiness coming not value the content of our character rather than the content of
