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Channel / Source:
TEDx Talks
Published: 2017-09-12
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LETgWD__z-I
you can be anything you wanna be how many of you have heard this growing up and how many of you believe that truly believe that you could be anything you wanna be anything you put your mind to write was a young girl growing up in a downtown neighborhood being raised by a single mom of four kids do you wanna know what I heard when people would
say that's I heard white rich kids you can be anything you want to be a poor black girls like you you don't deserve nothing like when I would go to the gas station to buy my favorite candy after earning a report card to be proud of oftentimes I was mad by expressions of discussed by the cashier as a paste my paper food stamps on the counter
one by one as if I had just rip somebody off or when I would go home at night to turn on the television and I saw people who look like me and live in neighborhoods like mine re they're criminals gang bangers drug dealers as if those are my only options in life be anything you wanna be yeah our rights or when I would go to my
Advanced Placement classes in high school and I was the only one there who had brown skin and hand me down no name clothing and the backpack I use the year before the message was clear you don't belong here so what were my options in life what could I do as a young girl growing up in welfare and I'm talkin straight up welfare monthly cash assistance housing
allowance food stamps weekly trips to the food pantry how was I supposed to be anything I want to be what does that even look like but here I am actually living a life that I am proud of I have a successful career that's rewarding in the field of education I have a beautiful family with a supportive husband and two amazing little girls I own a home
and drive a car that I paid for and I managed to put myself through college so far earning a master's degree for some of you this may seem like no big deal it's the kind of life you expected it's what you were exposed to was a young child it was already your lived experience but not mean to be honest I didn't even know this kinda life
existed I had no idea and through my adulthood people constantly asked me how did you make it out of poverty how did you survive what's the secret and I used to just shrug my shoulders and say I don't know luck I guess but then as you started working with students and families living in poverty and some very similar situations as my own I started to take
notice and I started studying those around me as well as doing a deep analysis of my own life and I realized that poverty is not about money nor is it about having a great job not at all poverty is about the lack of opportunity in the belief that you actually have control over your own life story it's about having access to opportunities with forward momentum it's
about people believing in you and giving you the chance to do something great it's about feeling support from those around you when you really doubt would be that you have what it takes and who has the power to control this each and everyone of you everyone can offer hope and inspiration love encouragement and support to individuals who have been marginalized victimized alienated or discriminated against you
all have the power to do that it's so impactful you just have to take notice of those around you and be willing to step out of your comfort zone in situations that may seem unfamiliar everyone can do this and it seems so simple throughout my life I've had a number of individuals who have provided selfless support and guidance throughout my entire lifetime they believed in me
and no matter what it taught me how to be resilient against the ills of the world it didn't matter that my family relied on government assistance for survival and then my mom is raising for biracial children by herself all that mattered was that we went to school every day tried our very fast we treated everyone including ourselves with dignity and respect individuals like my first grade
teacher who always told me how smart a wise and how lucky she felt that I was in her class she replaced constant societal messages with your a failure in your lazy with you're gonna be great or my brothers reading teacher who encouraged me to be a leader I just nine years old by giving you the responsibility of childcare during family education nights so that parents and
caregivers could come together and learn the strategies to help their children become more successful readers or my city bus driver the number three Mather on never forget who during each winter holidays we plan a special night with my mom providing commentary on the regular bus route pointing out all the beautiful holiday lights and decorations and that was something my family look forward to every year and
my beat top in my neighborhood who's got his buddies together and sponsored me for a all star basketball tournament in my family could afford I was so excited when I got the call inviting me to participate but once I saw the cost I stop talking about it because I knew bring it up to my mom which just perpetuate a downward cycle of depression and guilt when
there are things that she can afford that us kids wanted but he knew how important it was and help me out even though in the grand scheme of things it's not that big deal at all in my high school geometry teacher who was the first person to mention college to me and my response owe me I'm not going to college that's for rich kids and were
on welfare she said college is for you and that's not negotiable and supported me every step of the way until I walked across that university stage she was so proud of me and then there was my general manager at my first job who taught me the importance of developing a good work ethic he believes that I was a leader and inviting me to participate in the
management trainee program before I was even eighteen years old he invested in me what a powerful message to send to a young person through these acts these individuals made me feel like my life mattered like I had a purpose in the world it was something I didn't get on a regular basis so why does all of this matter why should we care why is this important
because if we don't there can be devastating consequences and at the young age of fifty eight my mom paid the ultimate price after years of poor nutrition poor health care high Strasbourg in the lack of adequate support for her own mental health needs a lifetime of poverty literally killed her and like so many daughters in this world I totally idolized my mom I looked up to
her so much she taught me what it meant to be selfless and service and that education was truly the key to success so much so that two years before she died she enrolled in the technical college to pursue a degree in nursing earning all Aizen bees her first semester she always used to say we may be poor but we're not dom we have a brain in
the world needs us to use it she figured that since all of her kids took the opportunity go to college that it was her turn she wanted to be an advocate for those he considered voiceless because she said their needs never seem to be heard by those making decisions sadly she never got to see her dream become reality if there's one thing that I've learned in
my life it's this the people need to be validated in empowered but not saved it's about helping people achieve the goals that they want to achieve and not determining what their goal should be when you look through your own lines of your own values you might have good intentions but it can have very ill a fact for example a couple of years ago I was working
with a high school student was identified by the courts as a student as a child in need of protection or services he was sixteen years old in his family had basically abandoned him he was homeless it was a couple months or a couple weeks before the winter holidays and a collie came forward interested in providing him a temporary place for him to put his head down
at night so I participated in this meeting to explore this opportunity to see if this could be a possibility and at some point during the meeting my colleague turned to the student inside you know I just really hope that this can process can go fast because I wanted to have a nice Chris and later that day that student him time to my office just completely upside
he started pacing back and forth and I asked him what's going on what's wrong and I looked at him and his eyes welled up with tears and he sighed man these people don't get me I don't want to have a nice Christmas I don't care about all that I want someone to Love Me Mickey feel like I matter maybe believe I can be somebody in NYC
instead of making me feel like I'm African joke a burden and some some poor little kid that someone's got a take home tonight that experience was so impactful thinking about what people need just to survive the days sometimes can be so basic love feeling wanted which she thought he needed wasn't what he needed at all a couple of years ago my husband and I started volunteering
at the emergency warming shelter and we worked quickly was quickly evident by a simple need that the gas displayed the need for stuff listening ear something that we all have the ability to offer but we don't always maximized by that and we've found great joy each week listening to that awesome stories of individuals who treated us like friends and for the most part were living and
very dark places socializing with her peers such a vital part of human nature and to think some people go day in and day out isolated from this basic experience why because they're not in our social circle belief is the single most powerful tool that you can do to disrupt the cycle of poverty and provide individuals with the confidence that they can and will succeed and I
am proof of that I wouldn't be standing here probably today had others not believed in me and showing me the way and everyone can tell someone else that they matter and that they will get through the tough times it's self efficacy which is a top trait of sick of successful people the belief that you can do it it's amazing just to think the belief that you
can do it I want to share a quote by doctor hi am did not which has shaped the way I see the world and the impact I have the opportunity to make on the precious lives around me everyday if we see people as they are we make them worse if we see people as the ought to be we help them to become what they are capable
of becoming so as Mahatma Gandhi sad be the change you wish to see in the world and that is truly how I live my life both personally and professionally I take notice of those around me and do whatever I can to break down the barriers we must act with purpose in order to add this devastating cycle to those of you battling the cycle of right now
please don't give up the battle is worth it trust yourself and yes you do deserve the life that you want to live sometimes I have to just laughed thinking about my life now and how different it just it used to be just the other day while every day I complain to my husband about not having a mother manor house seriously Ahmad Rome right literally a room
for mod when I didn't always have a bedroom going off and definitely not one that wasn't shared by one or two other people if only my ten year old self could see me today I never knew that I could be so proud of being myself making decisions that I wanna make having the option to turn down a job or career that is a good fit for
me having the financial freedom to support my family and not have to rely on government assistance to keep the lights on our food on the table I never imagined how stable my life could be but you see it's others that imagined it for me they took notice and made the effort to show me how valuable I Yom it exposed me to opportunities that could offer me
a better life and these individuals were just everyday people they didn't feel bad for me or make me feel that it was the worst thing that our family was on government assistance they didn't think that they were helpless they took notice and took the time they made the time understand my experience in order to maximize my potential so can I be anything I wanna be yes
