ad-free
Channel / Source:
TEDx Talks
Published: 2015-07-21
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjs7dyzLVco
I'm sorry I a kind of this thread kind of this it's kind of Novak what do you mean you got what's wrong what you can do this too many people I'm just freaking out in this and what if I forget something why skip this honestly one escape this what what the consequences you know what happens to people who don't speak up in front of others you
know what happens if they could use what about the more we have to speak up in a board meeting in front of an interview panel we gonna do then how long to cook is keeping this one have a lifetime worth of things IBM penis keep integrate and feel and it is just I know I know makes it but I I don't know I just I just
kind it's this so many people going to become but I mean these people sitting at a lot of them don't speak up in public school it's just have to be with that what we do okay hole has taken on a stick I can prove me that you get okay watch how many of you guys doing here income up heading confidently speak up and get a show
of hands so just just maybe what Ben fifteen percent right but watch will not how many of you who didn't raise your hands if I were to put a gun to your parents hits and do we do then you have to come up here and speak what I'm gonna shoot them would you then be a fatal would you come up and speak how many if you
say you would still not come up and speak to save up and it's like show of hands Vito what about you we're gonna get Ben said he would come up and speak no of course I would you say you know this life in that situation of costs and leaders speak that's not a big deal then exactly life in that situation you're pretty is on the line
that's life isn't it what you gonna do isn't that a big thing for you because when you look at the big fear of life and death then you start thinking this is easy this is nothing but you know what you could hear your entire life is at stake that is a big consequence it is like a gun to your head and if you start focusing on
the big mean that you're gonna be getting more if you don't do this today you are going to think that this is I think yeah it makes sense %HESITATION I suppose I could I took her how to how to how do I get comfortable and and we were to do this like like you okay so it's gonna start from the outside alright as to start from
the outset was the first thing that comes to mind when you think about speaking in front of a crowd first thing that comes to mind want me to say it yeah go ahead and say it firstly a comes you had when you look at a group thing that comes to my mind is %HESITATION he made me see a lot of other swear words that come Mosul
which actively concentrate now and I start saying we go I need to skip this and I start finding ways of skipping oh no one BLP at public speaking okay so we're gonna be making a choice right now okay you either gonna accept the shortcomings IP and you gonna perform and develop and loan alright or you could just say you know what I can do this let
me just go back that entire life long with being two choices so because you decided to go and kill the shortcomings IP you're gonna say you know what I want this I want to please the coat and I want to develop I went alone so because the other choice is just too painful so the first thing you think yourself is I won this not only got
how to escape it it did and you know it knows that you're talking about you wanna pop up your face just like sports BB do I'd look at a guy that's why he performs went bump up your face and you want to say I want this all the time every single time before the date of a presentation during the night with a constant in the morning
when you got eat and when you're on the week I mean you before you're facing your everything that I want to say I want this you got it you know what you make it sound easy it's not it's just not easy it is so many things so many issues you know urban or what if I did I just forget my stand that and and look at
your notes and forget I can think of that that's interesting yeah I don't know and that is I think given hanging gonna hang you always how can you forget you know you're fat you're gonna be on the front page of times of India before getting a speech it's gonna be insane all I can think of that okay so let's do one thing because you think you
might forget full of yourself let's just go with that option off a lifetime of mediocrity and feel how but that that makes sense right and when you're in that lifelong mediocrity need looking back to life regretting maybe then you can see you know what I chose this life because you hate what if I forgot my speech that of the day and if people look at me
weird you want to do that you making a choice and you know what would you say about an interview tomorrow Kevin interview tomorrow but an exam tomorrow that much on so that you might not get picked up in that and well you might not boss that exam but do you say that let me not go for the exam let me know before the interview doesn't look
like that and and and and one I don't know what to say if you forget picks yeah I know and that's not what I meant if question are gonna published in a band that's stupid but you're also going to look like an idiot jade green tea and for just forget everything and it's not not a big deal okay now what do one thing you write everything
down and you just read it out okay then what I mean if we're getting is a big concern regarding dis me because billions unsteady you with stock gaining confidence you remember that and I think but the point is not to escape that and go back because you remember the other choice that's not really the choice anyway okay okay but but English yeah you know what English
is also a problem for me I'm not I'm not feeling and I fumble the like so so what do I do about that ages making all put English what about all the successful Europeans begin broken English all the time people I'm not judging you on your English speaking people like destiny on your confidence and do you really want to go back because you don't speak English
when I skip the situation and into that anti life of mediocrity because your people would love it English the premise of a country where he said that good online ethics more than that okay okay okay fine own it's gonna be but it's just too many people don't give give me four five people six people hundred people in in this and I hate the professor sitting in
the audience would you saying I Kondylis Mrs and the eye is looking at me I can't even make eye contact with them the student or what is that what you want you one will be but you will you want more people to notice you right that's the would point isn't it would you want like the entire two people against loving view what is wrong with you
one what eyes and and by the way what's up with his eyes you know that's how people see people see that I how do you want them to see what that I'm good at something doesn't make sense you want anyone to see one of us would get out of that little beast you hiding behind come out in front and say you know what look at me
I wanna be real look at me by the way don't say that out loud he looked like a duck it in your head you wanna say look at me I am going to set an idea with you which by the way might bore the crap out of you today I don't know but still even if it was and his the beauty of ending the stockings ID
even if it bores the crap out of you today I listed walk away from it feeling a little more confident for the next person I have moved a few steps closer to what's my decisive and that is what matters to me like that's the choice to making isn't it so I see you one what I was looking at you okay thumb it okay I know I'm
not turning and I know it all sounds actually and so logically but a high it's not me that's not natural it's it's just not me I'm a boy who's been this week I mean if I was younger that be okay but forty is wounded fifteen twenty years I've been this week if if any come on I got I kind you know it's not my son actually
meet someone else's died but I kind natural in a way this is not true disease the next time you get sick don't let the doc and if you say you know what I don't want you to interfere this Nazi process let me die of what it would either have I would I would read this vegan one walk away and say you know what yeah I think
it would have been beaten good for twenty or is it just naturally fee is either Peter do so gladly me this week becomes not to tell us why you stopping us now is vegan bees what's wrong with you I can accept that you really want to be natural and what's less and living a life long off beam and mediocrity and look at other people which you
don impossible I just because you can speak up anyone couldn't actually and what's this what you wanna be I'm not sure I'm confident none drew seen and be in control you make that choice again so you decide okay alright but you know what definite you're right icon go back the other choice I need to do this and and that doesn't make sense to begin a choice
I have to do that obviously okay I need you make perfect sense but but I am pumped up believe me up on W. talk I really want to do this but then suddenly I get this this pounding heartbeat and I just well that dog just goes and I just feel that it is no business I just won't be form would we do about this now I'm
I'm not making any you know what there's a lot of things that you gonna be doing it like look at this pic all of this is going to make you know this but it's fun to okay you gonna have to just generalize you know it's nice so I think a little bit two hundred best much would he now knows because he was hundred tend to everything
the centuries Cordy with Lois anytime you want to get off the monkey was notice and the government such and in the two hundred best twenty years of Korea and used in those I am not saying that you're not going to be noticed you are going to be noticed you are gonna be feeling let's get okay the biggest or even the boy Anthony Robbins he jumps up
and down five hundred times before an audience because he's no this so you are going to be let's get your heartbeat is going to be a little crazy but that's that's how you use it you won that energy okay so you want a green just like that wanna come out anyone to move around when you suggested you wanna speak loud you don't want to just be
stiff and stand like this you gonna get even one you want to use the energy inside of you you wanna start taking your head anyone to start looking at people and smiling at people that's how the eyes become comfortable look at the one I use that energy and every single time I get more nervous every single time get moment none of us would have to look
at that picture of pumping up your face and say you know what I'm ready for this challenge because there is no other choice frankly is that so no stress it's gonna happen Williams so you gonna build it up into confidence now blocks taking would you say so fine %HESITATION if I forget I'm not gonna be published yeah I what was there to be afraid of %HESITATION
yeah I wanna be free English I don't get what many sites get what moving out of that tuition that I'm designing for myself I don't want to be okay you can do this okay what watch me ladies and gentlemen that was the dialogue I used to conquer my phobia public speaking and I'd like to show you an onslaught of your shop I am not making it
a good I don't have any might lead was not a disorder okay this is this is the dialogue that I wanted to demonstrate its based on of a profit at me going you're linguistic programming and %HESITATION so it's a week off looking back you said in the proper body language one of the things that we do is we try to escape this autumn and anything that
everything is fine with honesty in a comfort zone and the be fine that is the biggest which it liable because if you start to realize the gun to my head we're gonna notice that's a big problem so you respond back with that powerfully dialogue that exist demonstrate when I when I was in high school my parents believed like my academic potential he knew that I was
not getting through any other help but it so so they look really hard %HESITATION seemed a lot of money and sent me to get on to %HESITATION and by the way those of you well and allow people to define the pink opening an immigration I do not before we buy will be okay I think we'll be going to one on Google images I thought I was
gonna see this and guess what an obscene that's what I end up seeing when actually when that it %HESITATION the the one person if you %HESITATION who don't have relatives in Canada because frankly that's how you know if you're dealing in how we feel that it is in Canada field hands okay Elise in North India but pretty much everything a person and every time they hear
it onto a canvas it we have elected so for the one percent of you don't %HESITATION I'll let me tell you a little but the weather for eight months of the year it's like living in a freezer okay and and I used I remember because I was on a limited budget I use to save everything you don't look so pleased to be walking a few kilometers
getting big heavy backs of bush's fifteen to twenty kilos %HESITATION and walking just deceive you what we've done is on the bus fare right and %HESITATION I realize that you know my last name and I am about you but I assure you it's not because the guns might like to save money the actually fascinating thing is I needed to save that money okay we for this
be off people in my class so that they could present instead of because I was just too afraid of coming up and speak so actually beat off the way I I started this talk wood was exactly the way it was a few years ago the only difference the only change that I made is that I started responding back to myself and I started asking myself what