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Channel / Source:
TEDx Talks
Published: 2015-04-20
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1Zha2CrJZ0
I myself am a product of studying abroad and I would not be here if I have not studied abroad myself I became the person that I am right now I'm doing the things I'm doing right now just because I had this experience abroad other bit about my background I come from a very international family my parents work and study abroad and they met each other in
Hong Kong my father was working in Asia my mother was in school in Hong Kong then she studied abroad in Australia to finish school over there and what happens the married most Australia and lived there happily after that's what they thought that they want to the Netherlands back home to my father's family and they decided the metals is a great place to raise a family so
that's when I came about I was born in the Netherlands I grew up in the north of the country in that answer and that's where I thought I had a very regular Dutch life however I went to school in cloning and which is a great place to study and and I had a regular stuff student life I thought but I wanted more so I moved to
the states and went to graduate school over there actually I went to Texas of all places Texas is big everything's big in Texas and I really love being there %HESITATION universitet says is very international I met Mary many students over there both Americans and international students and %HESITATION Dario also phoned my own identity I found out that I was really Dutch in their eyes notes perceiving
myself as a Dutch slash Asian students from the Netherlands there I was totally Dutch and I got many many questions about my background like what is this policy in the Netherlands about euthanasia what about and the gay rights what about it and soft drugs and about selling those and and using them and I felt like I had to defend a lot of things that I was
not even aware of myself being from society where things were like the norm right so I felt I had to explain a lot of things but that made me very much aware of my identity my norms and I got a lot of personal questions a lot of sometimes offending questions but it made me realize that I had to really %HESITATION formally my opinions in a very
clear way which I enjoyed I made many many friends in Texas I went to rodeos like you can see on this picture on I'm a cowboy friends and I have friends who are Republicans who had %HESITATION guns in the back of their pickup truck I had friends who are very liberal and beat were street musicians in Austin it was a blast I learned a lot but
at the same time I felt I had to move on and get another foreign experience so I moved to Asia and I had this chance to do an internship for four months while I was actually still a graduate student in tech so I moved to Korea I have never been to Asia before even though my mom was from China but there I had to reinvent myself
again I was thinking okay I'm Dutch I just happen to study in the U. S. but when I came to Korea people been seen yes Dutch they saw me as a single unmarried woman twenty six years old needing a husbands because they felt they needed to take care of me it was a totally different society than I was used to in the Netherlands and the U.
S. and %HESITATION it confronted me also with my Asian backgrounds you know I had a half smile even looks that's what I thought and but that was a confusing thing at the same time because people were looking at me and saying while those freckles and people were touching my skin on the streets I went to a bath house and and met many wonderful career women than
there were jealous of fair skin and I was very embarrassed always that I was never getting a tan but they said I love your skin so why well these are really interesting things another thing was that I was living with a Korean family they spoke no English I was interning at the city hall in Korea inti John where no one spoke English only my boss had
a few words what I found out is that I was kind of low on the food chain it was like I was at the end of a long long desk of workers my boss was all the way on the top of the desk and he was getting the big privileges like sitting in a big arm chair and having a nap after lunch while everyone else was
working and I learned the hard way that I have to behave I was the only woman in the office %HESITATION but I gave my position there respects %HESITATION I have to go drink with the guys afterwards and I did it was a lot of fun I get come Roky and and at the end I felt I gain a position and respect because I was asked to
teach English as a second language to my boss and to my fifty co workers there so that's what I did after work and I felt I had a new identity again even though I was a foreign students I felt I was now in the position that I could be a teacher to my and hosts and that was a wonderful experience on itself after graduating in the
United States I had to make a big decision and that decision was am I going to stay and in the US or am I going back home to the Netherlands and pick up where I left it %HESITATION I had a degree in law I had a degree in public administration but at the same time I had the other choice of following the true love of my
life who happens to be Yemen Yemeni and he %HESITATION was working for the state department's as an Arabic language teacher in Tunisia so here I was go back home with all my wonderful experiences and follow a career that was matching my study backgrounds but I didn't I followed my heart and I married the my Yemeni love and we kind of put together this this wonderful international
family I got that very interesting experience being first in Tunisia and then %HESITATION the visiting Yemen as well this is my oldest son in my arms and that I had been the company had I had all the experiences that you could have in Yemen after two years in Tunisia I decided to go back to the Netherlands with my husband and %HESITATION we're now happy living here
and raising our three kids in three different languages at home they're all destined to go abroad for sure at least for a year you know it's not a question of do you want to go no they have to go it's part of their up bringing living abroad means also loving abroad that's what I really learned from studying in a different you got to love the culture
the new language the food smells and and if you're lucky you'll also find a true love there was a recent study done I'm on the Erasmus exchange program where and it was shown that about a quarter of the students who went abroad met there true love released a long lasting partner and about a million babies were born out of those different his hips and so I
think that's the that's the power very power who so if you go back to studying abroad and study abroad is not really about studying I think citing a broad is about being abroad it's about experience a learning and I want to put that question to you like what do you get out of your stay in in a different country did you challenge yourself enough you get
away from the books I know academia's great building up knowledge is wonderful but what it's really about is getting experiences getting experiences and dive into adventures that's why I advise you to do secondly make new friends make friends that don't look like you who are different who have a different opinion about life who come from a different background number three follow your heart even in academia
there's so many choices to make but you know what's right for you there are so many opportunities and it's all about diving into life and shaping yourself as a person you don't know who you are going to be in a few years this is something you need to explore there is no big plan you just have to follow adventure for the life and develop the skills
that you need to have to go through life in the best way possible now I'm a consultant %HESITATION I'm an education consultant and I work with a lot of young people who are dreaming of going to the United States and we help them with college placements I often hold the mirror and say what do you wanna get out of this experience they always say I want
to go to Harvard I wanted to heal I said I know the why do you want to go away you know what do you hope to get out of that it's not about your major she'll study it's not about what school you go to it's about what you learned the way the challenges are there you have to pick them up so thirty years ago a was
one of the few students who went abroad for a full degree and and I felt I was going the hard way you know I have to take up my typewriter I had to write application papers and and it was not an easy thing to do I could to study in cloning and stay in the Netherlands and then just go on to a job here in the
Netherlands but somehow I chose to do it the hard way looking at the circle that I went through it looks like it was all planned but it wasn't it was all chances that I saw opportunities that I saw and and that made me a better person I think and living life to the fullest thirty years ago it was more a Ford a younger and kids who
were from military families are diplomats that have chance to study abroad nowadays it's difference everyone has a chance to study abroad every university has an exchange program has partners abroad so it's kind of easy to get uncomfortable in a different country through a comfortable and way you know your school can arrange everything you want but now what it takes its guts you need to have guts
to do it just do it it's not about packing the right stuff for your trip abroad it's about having the right mind said it's about going out there and meeting new friends meeting her life basically so what I call upon this is just having all international women and men encourage the younger generation to take a chance and finder destiny throw away the books everyone can be
smart and study and find their way to a better degree nicer environments it's really about developing your character no guts no glory that's what I say and I hope that we can all look for younger people but even look at yourself and say Hey can I get some more out of career out of my life and explore so I hope that everyone will study abroad one
