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Channel / Source:
TEDx Talks
Published: 2013-05-05
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHhngXU8Zw4
but not me dot out who %HESITATION %HESITATION yeah yeah bonded and see why you go mu knows well not not who %HESITATION %HESITATION the H1N1 but not me Donna Koolau love their mind is ciba get low mood though well not not who are %HESITATION ready or not here I come you can't hide you got a son and you entity care slow the silence shows me I'd
into silence silence immobilized me I could breathe in my own skin without breaking the silence I could not live in the castle love my skin as I came of age colonize knowing I wasn't meant to survive I screen knowing the power of the erotic I screamed out not lose that resonated the sound of a hammer slamming on a nail going through flesh colored screens just another
black woman hollering screens like calling Catherine L. and Ella should like Zora orgy Gloria Sandra hollering creeks hollering creek hollering creeks to crack hollering creeks to crack the gate keeper and the ivory towers never are critics can crack a mirror okay creek can crack America accrete can crack Amira keep up the creek second turn into cracks you reaffirm our silences you keep out the creeks that
can turn into cracks you reaffirm our silences the creeks that make the cracks of the two while the need day duck creek that make the cracks of the two while the need to B. containing you either acts or disappear why do they think so many black women in anthropology turning to the arts a little bit of my origin story I wrote that piece after I defended
my to yeah I was what is known nowadays Gaza first generations first to go to college bursts to become a professional earth to get a PhD first to write a book sparse parts first first to get tenure first first first first first first from I like to call these first my giant leaps and I mean giant leaps and for you to get an idea of how
gigantic I need to take you back a little I need to take you back when I was growing up in Haiti I wanted to be a singer then we migrated to the U. S. I just wanna be a singer now I wanted to become a rock star I'm talking Madison Square Garden Natalie and so really not win police Dave Yummy you to solve that Jeannot progress
all about or are kind of rock star limit on the eighties MTV what I was going to become a rock star so I went to New York City give it a little try things didn't quite work out so I did what I thought Aideed good Catholic school girl who is dedicated to our country should I decided to get a PhD they're saying yes over the years
I'd grown source and tired of people always asking me why is he so messed up wise Haiti so poor and what's that voodoo thing that you do by the way that's not how I spell it dot is not how was that like it was always a lot of why why why why why why why in one of the rock star girl just fears %HESITATION she would
slip people the bird yeah so it's it's not why it's not why the answer is never simple if how did this then how this happened over time alright fast forward seven years later are I get the degree I'm either comes to graduate Tina you did this all by yourself I didn't when I got here you of them remember first generation I did have a math I
even have a compass and a friend of mine likes to say if you can't I mean it was like the X. when you are taking giant leaps and this world where the truth is out there somewhere you need mentors you need guidance you need people who will watch out for you you need people who will steer you and I have that I had that I was
also part of this great community of peers artists town folks were totally totally committed before I didn't know it at the time one of you rock star an anthropologist the where arguing all the time constant remember one wanted to sing her little heart out and then the other one would master theory the body was getting disconnected and that wasn't wanna be rock star just push pushing
the boundaries of produced apology but in the mean time little bits of theory started to spill into my songs and then I started to reference everybody I mean I'm always referencing other poets to such a point when you hear me you need a bibliography I'm always referencing the yeah and there's little chance that's how he came back into my world at the time I was not
doing my dissertation on Jimmy that's basically the story of how my spoken word performance work was born right here in Ann Arbor IQ of now put it another way always doing a really OneNote this is well as the %HESITATION news to got him Blair said who do I want well as someone she apologized for who she was she never apologize while she was with her there
was no pretense there was no shame what you saw was what you got she was a present so what she was illiterate so watch she was a street vendor so what she had a lot of children so what smoked a pipe shoot did a baka and was a heavy drinker so why she was born of a family who love to serve her spirits so working well
well well maybe I don't know we do well where he'd be on your logic liner sells for herself dinner we don't I didn't define myself for myself if I did not define myself for myself I would be crunched up into other people's fantasy for me and I would be eaten alive I exist as IBM and that is enough I exist as I down in that is
enough I exist as IBM and that is not peace that's about my maternal grandmother like I said giant leaps giant leaps as I was preparing for this talk couple weeks ago I got a case of shingles now those of you who know what it is and those of you who don't let me just say you would not wish dot pain on your worst enemy heavily medicated
I went into total contemplations day and this is I mean what else happens you turn in work a and I should be several things that came to me that I'd like to leave you with today the first in doing the research you know I went to the mother ship to talk looking at other talks about Haiti and what I found was that with the exception of
one most of the talk actually all the other talk are about post quake Haiti with Haitians as basically disaster victims in need of Xavier's I not only want to meet Ted I wanted to launch I'd like to talk a tendency to we too are innovative we too have ideas worth spreading and that's the danger of the single story that's my mind talks about we need new
perspectives on Hey as someone who is an expert on issues of representation I don't think it's an epic fail I think we can fix it so give me a call we would go to lunch the other thing I realized I thought I love bingo before now I know why I did I swear vango shingles that's why he got off easier he had shingles I swear by
it which brings me to my final point when you have P. so all consuming so %HESITATION rest Stang you either get rid of it which is what Vincent did or if you're me and my age you politely Louise hay book and you start to wonder why am I being tortured this saying yes the shingles was in my right ear and then I got bell's palsy I
started to freak out because it was in my right ear the right side of my face the right side of my head the right side of my brain that's where the creative impulse slice the right side of my brain that remains the ontap part of today you see wannabe rock star was all about self expression like this desperate desperate desire to tell her to it as
she knows that anthropologists duty to country fees are soft as a global citizen a sense of responsibility the two of them more less separate over the years you know one wrote a book more than one book the other one did a CDA but with time we've been merging and we have merged and we are merging and we are merging and we've become this performer that is
the untapped potential that I have that I've yet to acts and I'm as excited as I am scared by at I'm excited because I'm no longer split I'm scared because honestly I have absolutely no idea what I am capable of as an artist not but I'm excited because the untapped potential is actually a real mix of myself wanna be rock star and apologized artist social scientists
self expression due to the country love of self love of country love of self love of country VMware evenness well not not who %HESITATION %HESITATION yeah yeah line yeah see Buggin go move %HESITATION none that who are %HESITATION the ones you long moan well because you think it's it because I love the mon zero Mamoon well because you'll be too because I love the way Melanie
