ad-free
Channel / Source:
TEDx Talks
Published: 2013-05-03
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6A1Rmihnjg
I have a friend who worked in the same building for thirty years so think about that every morning he got up drove to work along that same road every night drove back he said there's no food that I'm not aware of in relation to that road I know every number and every box I never I know color of every door on every home I know everything
about that road and then one day something happened car broke down he went to the mechanic he said I need a loner Koenig said no problem Henderson keys and he pointed out of them the next morning my friend climbed into that van and drove to work now when he got in that van he was sitting twelve inches higher then he normally sets he said it was
the most stunning day of his life after thirty years he drove down that road in the store over fences he didn't see over before he saw over hedges in behind those fences and hedges there were buildings there were people there or activities he had an entirely new perspective on that road that he knew so well now I think that stories a perfect metaphor for today because
when we tap potential it's on taps we see things in new ways and a whole New World possibility opens up to today I want to share stories to with you and I want to do to exercises the first exercise would like to do right now awesome I would like you in just a moment when I say go I'd like you to stand up find somebody you
don't know right next to their summer fonder back stick out your hand and I want you to tell them your name high on John Jones she'll say back hi I'm Mary Smith and then I want you to not talk I want you to simply sit down so it's a five second exercise the goals have to perfectly still moratorium in five seconds you got it ready golf
you made it with a second to spare congradulations now you just got in the car you've done that a hundred a thousand times right you've introduced yourself you do dishes self to marry and then you look at other and then marry shows law well the weather in Michigan is changing and if you get really lucky you think of something else to say him maybe you keep
that conversation when you believe that car before I'd like to share with you know other about a man who came to one of my executive classes at the business school he was a company president courses called leading change she sat quietly for two days and on Wednesday morning sick we have watches it sure we were walking down to the cafeteria when he made an interesting declaration
he said I know everything there is to know about leaving change okay why are you here and he just looked at me for a minute and then he told me story said that in his car is corporation or five operating come he said I've turned around to those companies what a powerful creamy of CEOs of never turn from their company this guy's turn around to he
said because of that on the fear her boy on the star you should in our corporation there's this big company that makes all the money they called me one day and they said the person who is running this is leaving in eighteen months he's gone the job is yours you've earned it you deserve it it's a book that he's gonna be there eighteen months we've got
this other company over here that's already dead they just don't know it we want you to go there and hold the funeral now his response was I'll do it what was he thinking thinking fantastic third feather in my head during this one around to and then he looked at me as we sat at the table so I've been there nine months I haven't the more many
did the classic thingy pulled the napkin out he drew a little hierarchies on the napkin well she's doing this he's doing this here's what we're doing with the widgets and I'm listening not to his words I'm listening to his feelings and so I took a deep breath and I said tell me something what would happen if you went back on Monday and brought everybody in then
you made the announcement he said you know you should know that nine months on due to be here but as of this morning that's all changed I made a phone call I no longer have this job I'm going to stand here and I'm going to live and die with this company that's really bad news for you fox because before you go out that door you gonna
make some hard decisions I was worried he punched me in the face study looked at me for a second and then he said that's what I've been thinking and here's where the story gets interest grabs the napkin and he pulls it back and he said has okay she can't stay there she has to go here he can't stay at all he have to go we're not
to do this to the widgets we're gonna do this the widgets here's the million dollar question why did the napkin change just a few seconds before that napkin was perfectly acceptable now which changed the answers stop worrying about the feather in his cap he just committed to a higher purpose the good of that company I put that purpose ahead of him in the moment he did
that everything changed when we embrace a higher purpose meaning increases in our lives meaning is a part of empowerment the scientists tell us we feel more empowered we take more action when we feel more empowered we have a greater sense of meaning or sense of positivity goes up and there is a really important point because there we find a scientific mechanism in the story we now
know that you have a positive the ratio the average person has a ratio of two to one for every negative feeling you have you have %HESITATION to positive a feeling positive feelings or thoughts that's a normal ratio we also know that you can increase that ratio and when you go above three chemistry view brain changes you open up you begin to make creative association you begin
to see new things you begin to learn new ways and then the world knocks you down and you come back to normal you have a residue you remember what you learn you also have the possibility of discovering all I can go there by choice I can live with the world wants me to live it to two to one or I can choose to increase that ratio
then if you do everything changes suddenly this man was in a very different place here's a question did he know before he ever came that she didn't belong here did he know this guy had to go to do you know all the widgets need to treat answers yeah he knew that before he became so how come that wasn't happening when you have a sense of higher
purpose you're willing to face conflict you see moving her was a conflict firing him was a conflict changing the strategy that was a conflict for conflict but when you embrace a higher purpose and you know what's right and you know that's a core of your identity you're willing to do things you don't do when you're in conference on when you're driving the car when you get
in the van you have that new view everything changes now I'd like to do a second exercise in a minute I'm going to ask you to stand up and I'm gonna ask you to turn to that person again and introduce yourself but I'm gonna ask you to do it differently I'm going to ask you to not tell them your name this time because I think that's
inconsequential instead I'd like you to tell them your purpose hi mom passionate about look at your card if you not sure what that is shake his hand her hand she'll say I'm passionate about and then just sit down again this time to get eight seconds prickly silent but we're gonna do it a little differently I'm a warm you up okay would you all stand up everyone
stand up for second well this is what I'd like you to do I'd like you to take you to fill us in squeezing really tight really tight are not tight enough come on screen them know what you to smile big big smile you can't let go the smile really important hold the smile then don't do the ship this one I want you to do I'm going
to ask you to joke with me ten times ago up on your toes one tune three night yeah we'll do that alright and when we get to ten I want you to turn around burst on to that person and say my purposes shake their hand sit down you got it alright here we go one two three four five six seven eight nine ten brawl that was
impressive your volume was about twenty times louder the energy the person this room was many many times greater think about the conversation that would follow I guarantee you marry is not going to say the weather in Michigan she's gonna say what's tell me about that and you're going to see you had told me about you your passion your purpose you going to create a high quality
relationship in high quality relationships resources flow in a very different way there's a thousand people in this room people who met that list we just of people who are creators people who try to do things in the world people here because our interest in them what that means is everybody in this room is carrying a basket of resources I invite you to make this the best
day of your life that every break the launcher dinner they forget Truman and you walk up lots of positive energy shake their hand and say my passion this now as you embrace that purpose as you increase the positivity magic will happen in this place and you'll leave a different person now that's outside your comfort zone it takes courage to get in the van and get out
