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Channel / Source:
TEDx Talks
Published: 2016-01-11
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4Zu5ZZAG7I
hello everybody I live is start with a question how many of you know the person sitting next to you from before today it's a sink so do you remember the first conversation you ever had with that person you conversations are leaks okay let's imagine every conversation to be a tiny mental league and every time you talk to a stranger a metal link is phone and every
conversation that you have after that moment link gets stronger and stronger and every deed each one of us we'd still many strangers the grocery guy the cab guy maybe the receptionist at a new office you went to I would every conversation we build new links I didn't find any in the end we've created a kind of a massive worldwide web conversation worldwide web that's the one
I think I've heard that somewhere that's it right a conversation it's a fascinating thing a conversation is an adventure conversation gives you a whole new perspective a conversation opens a dole conversations can make water and conversations can make peace and conversations define who we are as a human race I think about this every single person in your life was once a stranger to you I knew
you know nothing about them I do you had dax first conversation so I'm here today to tell you to talk to strangers and to have a conversation and I'm here to tell you how seven me is you can make a conversation with almost anyone I'm a radio presenter and I love talking to people I do I love it I'm so glad that they do it for
a living so I don't mind these life right every single morning I go into an empty room and I put on a Mike and I have a conversation with one point six million people and I dont seem yeah you know what art is not in mill it's time in a school our shoe I get twenty minutes it's on the top there is and in twenty minutes
I have to convince you that I am your best friend how do I do that how do I establish a connection I have twenty minutes to inform you to excite you to engage with you but most importantly twenty out of twenty times that I switch on that might I heard you need a smile on your face except I dont see you I know nothing about you
and I have no way of gauging your reactions how do you do it how do you talk to a stranger well my nine years in radio have taught me these simple little tricks strangers they are everywhere and we've always been told don't talk to strangers but I didn't beg to differ and he's seen Joe comes with an opportunity an opportunity to learn something new an opportunity
to have an experience you never had will hear a story that you've never heard before yeah I had that moment Jake you're in the room with someone you don't know and you look across the room you see a stranger and you think I want to talk to this person you could almost feel the first one but it just won't come out it getting stuck about humor
Ken goes up and down and you don't know all you know what here's my advice just feel it what was that can happen they won't talk to you when they're not talking to you now the first word floodgates I truly believe that the first word after the flood gate you know once you send the bus would everything there's just noise so keep it simple I hi
and he hello all and do what every good boy dies just gather the enthusiasm the positivity the energy put on a big smile and say hi I know this is going to be that strange moment right now done to someone sitting next to you stick your hand out and say hello go on I love the awkward lost the Harris you making up to do this the
buzz word blood did you know you know the challenge we face every day in time we have ninety seconds on radio and we have to make that conversation with a stranger memorable so Hollywood doing what's the biggest challenge honestly if we get stuck in the not so high show me how would you I'm fine what's going on nothing much seem on so Danny what's new valuable
forty five seconds down wasted I so does my advice skip the small talk and ask a yearly personal question and don't be afraid trust me you'll be surprised how much people are willing to share it you'd just I ask so I kind of bus no question maybe %HESITATION interesting name how did your parents think of it is there a story behind it all how long did
you live in this city and do you remember the fuss did we landed here you see honor system those question that'll be something unique always something personal my favorite one to try is where do you come from and where does your family live unfailingly every single time I sit in a cab I do this I ask that question where do you come from and where it
is your family leave let me tell you a little story I was coming home one night and %HESITATION again to the stacks the open the door sit down I see you criticism when is your family live and the sixteen or Pakistani cab driver goes on to tell me on about his life we talk about politics we talk about music family is why if his femme and
twenty minutes later he is convinced that I am the boss affect bride voice twenty six year old college educated son from fresh out of and as I'm getting out of the taxi he's staking out a passport sized photograph with this look of enthusiasm I have the faith with a very difficult goodbye with the moral of the story really is what stocks with the home though get
and with the marriage proposal and that is a warning step three find the new tunes have you ever met someone who starts a conversation like this starting to beat I'm from Delhi I hate daily yeah nothing kills a conversation like a negative when you meet someone for the first time make an effort to find the one thing that you and another person might have in common
when you start at that point and then move outward from there you will find that all of a sudden the composition becomes a lot easier and that's because the both of you must send me on the same side or something and that's a really powerful feeling now what could you possibly have in common with a stranger you ask could be anything right you both in the
same place at the same time maybe you from the same country maybe you bought like the window or your longing for it don't even know you find something we just kind of meat do you automatically have a kind of buy in from the other plus trust me that's have be a unique compliment I read somewhere that people will forget what you do in this I get
what you say but they will never forget how you made them feel the genesis and go out and give someone a nice flirt compliment so I have this belief about a compliment immunity meter and it comes from this experience I had when I met this gorgeous supermodel right and I look around I see while you're you're gonna slow and there is no anti action on her
face and I think to myself how that's when I realized she is immune to the word beautiful she's probably heard it a hundred thousand times today and if she's on social media she's had a million things to there are some words that each of us have developed an immunity to it could be nice it could be awesome it can be cool stay away from these trying
to construct a compliment that's unique and genuine and you don't have to lie really when you look at someone and say oops I love how when you smile it's like you know with smiles and then you are you smiling you're ya smiley when you fall and some other than you know what puts the news is smiling see I hope that's a compliment you're not going to
forget for awhile the is unique and genuine compliment ask for an opinion all of us have opinions trust me and we all want them to be heard and everybody wants validation so Gordon Oscar an opinion and that's when you open up the door we street that's when the real early communication begins and you would be surprised how much you can pick up about a person just
by asking that opinion on something thrifty genetic she was a mistake that some people make they ask your opinion about something really difficult it feels almost intimidating somewhere in a room full of very well and song to people and someone was to come up to me and say so what do you think about the way the oil prices have affected the real estate market in Dubai
I believe it garnered I feel like I might feel in this is an examination and that's the lesson nobody needs to feel as I stand conversation just ask something simpler keeping genetic how do you like a coffee when was the last time you watched a movie what did you think of it and when somebody gives you that opinion yearly listen I don't listen don't apply listen
to listen there's a difference and that brings me to my next point the present I know you've been through this I know I have your boarding your hot out to someone and they're like this yeah gone keep talking I didn't like the task what's life like there is no incentive communicate with you the least you can do is really be in that conversation just be wholeheartedly
present just blue day and all my favorite spot make eye contact trust me I contact is where all the magic how you can feel the conversation and trust me when you're looking at someone in the eye nine out of ten times they will not dare look away that if only I could look into the eye of the one point six million people I would not have
to bloody about you guys tuning out during the ad breaks that brings me did these my favorite point because I think it's got a catchy name may replace animal team who you remember that game remember the little details about a person remember that name it's so important it's also when you meet someone for the eighteenth time and you see it you must be taught none Peter
I something with the P. and it ends with it stay out of it remember someone's name and see it back to them you have no idea how important you making them feel and that's not the only beat you remember all the other details as well as the police is they like to go to the places they've been to the places they wanted to go to that
back seems how their batsmen speeding neatly the things they like remembered that children's names that such a we know and remember their wives' names and they go friends names just don't mix up the last two good that could be disastrous remember the little things about people in repeated back to them Oscar be genuinely interested and automatically you kind of becoming invest still in their well being
so be it irresponsible do you to keep that conversation going Sally no seven amazing ways that you can make conversation with anyone and seven reasons why you should use the break that's going to come up to talk to a stranger here don't know I'm gonna end with this this analogy a conversation is like reading a book you can go into any page you want you can
flip to your favorite chapter you can read as long as you want you can read what you want and every Boston trust me is a really good book and it saddens me soul much that entire human lives are being boiled down to one hundred and forty characters and dotty headlines because that's not what we are we are not abridged versions we hadn't Dio human stories we
